Monday, December 29, 2014



The Holiday's can get complicated when you are single. People ask you where your ex is and you have to kindly inform them of the break-up, or some people have to endure the third-degree tactics of people grilling them about why they're single. I think at this stage in my life people don't ask or suggest anything to me, not that they ever really use to when I was younger either - I don't really know why that is. However, this Christmas was especially difficult because I was truly alone for the Holiday's. Christmas day I hibernated, I scrolled through endless Facebook feeds of happy families, and endured some Holiday movies. I did make the effort to meet-up with friends and go to family functions and I think it helped me keep what little sanity I have left. Something else that kept swimming around in the vast knowledge-pit of my mind was what a good friend once told me; It's okay to be depressed and to be sad, just don't live there. I'm really trying to make the conscious choice to challenge myself and condition my delusional thought patterns (Cognitive Behavioral Training, CBT) to make better choices, to snap myself out of thoughts that are dangerous to my psyche.

"I want you to be free from anxieties... the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure our undivided devotion to the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV

What does this tell me? It speaks that I should not be anxious about being single and I should not put any restraints on myself about what has happened in the past, or to worry about the future. I was reading a devotional from Joyce Meyers recently and it really spoke to me. "How many of you know that God test you from time to time? Pass your test now. If you don't, you'll get to take it again." This made me think, when I use to think that bad stuff kept happening to me as a punishment, NO - I haven't passed His test yet. I know my shortcomings, I know I can be a pushover and I know I have a hard time telling people no or whatever. Because I haven't learnt my lessons, I keep getting into the same relationships and they fail because I haven't passed the test. However, He also tells us not to dwell (because that will lead to those anxieties and restraints of the world) but to learn from our lessons and to move forward and "shake it off" Joyce Meyers Daily Devotion - It's time to shake it off! I need to switch my focus from obsessing over finding that man to grow old with, to enriching my soul with the word of God. 

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

I was watching some program the other day I'm not sure if it was Joyce Meyers or Joel Osteen - have you ever listened to a message and you know the Spirit is telling you something completely different? I can't recall the Ministries exact message, but I know the message I received. It was that God has known me before I even knew myself. He has known all the hardships and struggles that I have face and that I will continue to face. Yet, He has entrusted me with this life. He is precious to me that He believes in me and that should be sufficient, more than sufficient, it should be all that I need! His love is all the love that I should need, I shouldn't need the love of another to feel complete. His love will sustain, His love is enough, and His love will see me through. I will grow old in His eyes and receive the deserving love of my lifetime through Him.

"And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord." Hosea 2:19-20

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