Saturday, November 29, 2014

What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?

What Are The 10 Things You Would Tell Your Younger Self?

There have always been certain things that, if given the chance to tell my younger self, I would definitely share some well-earned knowledge. However, it was more difficult than I originally thought to come up with ten things. I've experienced a lot in my life and I wouldn't necessarily want to change those events because it's made me who I am today. However, if given that miraculous chance - I would definitely whisper quite a few things into my ear. The tricky part actually is, would I actually listen to my older self? I'm so darn stubborn that in itself would be the crux in the entire situation. I also wonder how my life could possibly be different if I did follow my own advice... provided by bullet-points, here are the ten things I would definitely tell my younger self.

  • FAT DOESN'T DISAPPEAR - I actually just read recently how the fat in our bodies contracts and expands. It is why when we lose weight it is more easily re-gained. I would want to tell myself when I was in my early twenties to continue to care for my body. I had worked so hard to lose the weight I had carried before. After I had my son and my life drastically changed, I was dealing with daily chronic pain (I still do) and I totally dropped the ball with physical therapy (I didn't make time fore myself). I should have fought for that more, I would tell myself that I need to fight for my health, go to physical therapy and have a plan to continue to care for my body with what works for me. Whether it be a modified plan for exercises, yoga, whatever! At least I would have that knowledge and would have a plan that I could utilize and have some comfort in. But, I would definitely tell myself to INVEST that time and effort!
  • FAIRY TALES ARE FICTION - There's no such thing as "Happily Ever After". I grew up watching Disney movies and have always dreamed of that one man that is my soul mate that would save me. I would tell my younger self that the only person that can save me is myself. If you put stock in others to save you then you'll be disappointed - every time. I keep wondering if I should tell my younger self how disappointing that department has actually been? But, I wold definitely tell myself that kind of love is fiction, it's not necessarily not real but, I should focus more on myself. I guess I would tell my younger self how my past relationships have ended. It would definitely change my outcome now! I know if I told my younger self that the man I married would end up cheating on me and everything else, I wouldn't even have gone down that road. So it would totally change everything! It makes me wonder how different my life would be now.  
  • BE SELFISH - Make choices in your life for yourself, not what other people want. If you want a wedding, have a wedding, don't accept anything less. I am stubborn, so to a degree I do what I want but, there is a side of me that if I love someone I would do whatever they wanted. Because I loved them I wanted to appease them, even if it went against what I truly wanted. Don't fear what other's will think of you or that they'll think any less or love you less - if they do that's their fault - if they don't like it, don't let the door hit them on the way out.This could have saved me so much stress and anxiety and would definitely change everything. Never compromise yourself or what you want out of life. I do believe in compromise in relationships but, don't sacrifice yourself or who you are. It's been my experience the other person won't make those changes for you... so, why change for them?
  • STAND UP FOR YOURSELF - I never really spoke up for myself until I had my son and had no other choice but to be an advocate for him. Just brush it away too when people think you are being a bitch for speaking your mind, if they think that then you need to reevaluate that relationship too! I would tell my younger self to stop thinking that the world will end if you upset others - it won't! You have to have respect for yourself or others won't respect you either. Your needs should be more important to you than what other's think of you.
  • SAVE MONEY - Things will inevitably happen, if you aren't able to save money then you need to look at your career. I would tell my younger self to go for a career where you could make more money. Although, I believe I worked with special needs students to prepare me to care for my special needs son, however if events changed and my life altered because of those changes, I would definitely want to be more financially secure. I would definitely tell my younger self to take more care with my credit and to make more of an effort in that area. This will be important to have the security that I wish I had now.
  • WRITE - My mom always use to tell me that I should write, even when I was younger. So, I would tell my younger self to listen to our mother's advice and write. Get involved in the writing field and pursue that career, go to college for writing, and really invest yourself. I'm just getting started in the Self-Publishing and Indie field, I often wonder where I would be if I had jumped in much earlier when I should have. I remember when I first went to Community College after I graduated from High School and ended up dropping out because I didn't want to waste my parent's money, because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I would tell that younger self to take those classes and pursue writing, it's where you will flourish.
  • COMFORT EATING - Don't do it! Along with telling myself to respect my body and continue to take care of it, when I was in my early twenties I read every food label and was much better about caring what I put in my body. I would tell myself to continue that, while it may taste good and send those chemicals in my brain the sensation of feeling better, that in reality I will feel much worse when I'm feeling depressed about gaining weight and not being able to fit in those clothes that I love so much. Respect yourself and your body! I would also whisper in my ear to pay more attention to the chemicals on the labels - to care more about the poison going in and what possible long-term effects that it can have.
  • INVEST IN FRIENDSHIPS - Make more time for the people in your life that make time for you. If people can't make time for you, then it should tell you that they don't want to be with you. When I was married this happened with my own husband, he couldn't make time for me, that should have been a huge red flag. I would tell my younger self, before you sacrifice your friendships for your relationships, why? You should not sacrifice them! Go out with your friends and do you. If the person you're with is jealous or is manipulative, then that's another huge red flag - of their own guilty conscious. Don't ruin your friendships with other people to appease your partner - NEVER!
  • DON'T STOP COORDINATING - You have this insane ability to pull-it-together - don't ever stop! I would tell my younger self to continue to coordinate Cousin's Night, it's very important! It saddens me now that we don't get together as much as we should, so I would definitely tell my younger self to keep up that tradition at all costs. You know your persistence pays off *wink*
  • YOU ARE WORTH IT!! If you think you are not, then it's toxic and leave - immediately! Most importantly - LOVE YOURSELF!!



What would you tell your younger self?