CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #6

JANUARY

What are your New Year's Resolutions?

Have you ever read something and when you read it again there is an entirely different message? It's amazing to me how God communicates with us when we open ourselves up to just listening. I am so stubborn and it is probably why it takes me forever to learn something. Thank goodness God is so patient! This challenge has been helping me tremendously. It is helping me to focus on myself instead of trying to reclaim some connection to someone else. The problem I have had in the past is when I enter into a relationship I get lost. My personality is a sacrificial one, I will give myself in every way to the person I am with, and in doing so I am giving away too much. As well, in the past, I willingly give away too much without reciprocation. This only led to insufficient and insecure feelings and instead of sustained relationships, I was nurturing the wrong environment for love to grow. Instead, and because I wasn't receiving what I needed, I would get depressed. But, no more! Now that I have identified a key factor and characteristic of myself; I have acknowledged it and now I am working on change. That what this year is about. I have to put myself first.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV 

 I can't tell you how many times I have read this scriptures, and it isn't the only one that states God will never leave you or forsake you. So, why have I been so quick to think so? Because, I wasn't putting God first in my life. For so long I have prioritized men first - this has got to change. Obviously it hasn't benefited me. As I continue to go from one relationship to the next, I was also taking those feelings of neglect, hurt, and other insecurities along with me. That isn't how you want to start a relationship. Having so many failed relationships has also made me feel like a complete failure. However, once I read and re-read different scriptures, I finally got the message! For so long I was putting my faith in finding "the one" and have been bitterly disappointed. Now, God has given me the knowledge - not to lose faith in men - but, to have faith in Him.

One night as I lay awake, I thought about how God made Eve (woman) from the rib of Adam (man), and how easily men throw away their ribs these days. It is so disturbing to me that so many marriages end in divorce and that adultery is not necessarily socially acceptable but, it seems that no one looks at the act as God does. After each ended relationship, I felt like a chewed-up discarded barbecue rib at an buffet. "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Hebrews 13:4 ESV  "You shall not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14 ESV 

So, what I have learned this month is to put God first. Second, that in the past relationships, for the majority of them, I was the one to initiate or pursue the guy. Whether it was on-line dating and sending that first message, or sending a message elsewhere (like Facebook), I was usually the one to initiate conversation. What I have learned from this is that I won't be the dominate pursuer; he will have to initiate, making the effort, and being the pursuer. "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22 ESV  "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV

I have been tempted, in moments of weakness I have clicked on sites that promise to deliver you to that perfect partner. Further still, I go through answering questions in the hope that the one God has intended for me could be on the other side of the screen. Not that this hasn't happened, there are couples out there that have met on-line, married, and very happy. But, for me and my year without men, I nearly failed a crucial test (I think). Instead, realizing I was making a huge mistake and falling back into bad habits, I erased my profiles. It's almost like an addiction or a drug. You want that connection with someone, you want to find "the one." But, I've been looking in all the wrong places this entire time. God has told me that He is the unconditional love that I need and instead of seeking a physical man for my need for companionship and that connection, that I am to seek Him in all things. I had read a posting once that said a woman should be so involved with the Lord that a man will have to seek the Lord to find her. Every time I find myself thinking of a relationship, I need to condition myself to remember to think of God's word instead. That it is in His timing and in His way only that I will find what I am truly searching for (and the reason nothing in the past has worked). 

Joyce Meyer Ministry - Daily Devotional (great read!)

YEAR OF THANKS

The past few years have been challenging to say the least. I've been through too much and I am declaring that 2015 will be my YEAR OF THANKS! I want to renew my relationship with God, learning His word, growing spiritually, and letting it all take root in my life! With the new year I had already challenged myself, that every morning when my alarm goes off to immediately open my Bible app and read the scripture for the day. Then, on Joyce Meyer Ministries Facebook page, they have been posting so many wonderful daily devotionals (which I have been reading). As well, they have issued different challenges, the #YEAROFTHANKS challenge (which I will be doing), and the 3030 challenge (I didn't sign-up for but, in essence I will be doing anyway).

For my Year of Thanks challenge I am going to post something I am thankful for in my life each month. This will help me in different ways. It will help me spiritually, it will also help me to overcome the fear of expressing what I am thankful for. In the past, when I have praised or shown appreciation for something in my life - to me - I felt that it was taken away from me. I know God does not want me to live in fear and if I continue to be afraid, then that negativity will consume my life. I want to be happy, God wants me to be happy, and I know this is the route to my happiness. This is the journey He wants me to take...

JANUARY

So, to start off my Year of Thanks Challenge, the first thing above all else that I am irrevocably thankful for is God. Without Him by my side, I don't know how I would have survived everything that I have. I know He was with me when I was in the hospital, I know He's been with me through the darkest of times, and He always will be. He has understood when I have been mad and He remains patiently by my side. "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV 

For the past couple of years I have sort of crept into this depression where I thought I wasn't getting "the good things in life" because, for some reason, God wasn't rewarding me. My entire mind-set was wrong and because I wasn't studying His word or working on our relationship, that depression fueled those delusional thought patterns. After losing so much and having to move back in with my parents, when I'm well into my 30's now, is rather depressing. However, my faith tells me that God has a plan and I should not seek worldly desires. What I want for my life isn't necessarily what God wants or has had planned. "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 ESV

I pray that God will continue to guide and teach me, that I continue to grow, and to honor Him. Through His timing, that I walk His chosen path for my life that He has blessed me with. I praise God for everything that He has blessed me with in my life so far and look forward to what He still has in store for my future. I pray for those less fortunate than I am, that He work in their lives, and that we all work together to glorify Him. Amen.

H is for Hope

Dealing with daily chronic pain, hope can seem so far away at times. It can be aggravating when people, that do not know what you have to endure, say such things as "it'll get easier", "hope you feel better soon." The fact is, this pain will never go away. It's just learning how to deal with the pain that helps. But, we all have bad days (don't beat yourself up about it either).

When hope seems lost, it feels like you are drowning in a sea that is carrying you further and further away from shore. When I feel this way, the only proven cure has been reading passages in the Bible. Here are a few that I enjoy:

Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you will be full with hope, through the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13

Setting goals can help us feel the hope of tomorrow. By setting small goals it will give us the sense of accomplishment. When writing out what you want to achieve, or something you want in life, make sure to set those smaller goals before the bigger ones. This progression, cognitively, provides positive reinforcement toward living a fulfilling life. By setting goals you are an active participant, it's too easy to just expect life to turn out how you dram it will.

The hope of the righteous shall be gladness: but the expectation of the wicked shall perish.  Proverbs 10:28

Hope is living the changing seasons; through this tough winter we have hope that there will be a spring. Giving and believing in hope helps us to endure and cherish the life that we live. The pain I feel both physical and mental has contributed to my depression and thoughts of suicide. However, I hold onto my faith and hope for the day that I will no longer feel pain and God wipes away the tears (Revelations 21:4).

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  Hebrews 11:1

Link

King James Bible Versus

God Wipes Our Tears

"The LORD All-Powerful will destroy the power of death and wipe away all tears" Isaiah 25:8 (The Learning Bible, Contemporary English Version)

Something I learned just recently, within the Bible when the word lord is in all caps (LORD) it refers to God, and when the first letter of the word is capitalized (Lord) it is referencing Jesus. Something else that I need to get off my chest, it is more of a pet peeve; when people spell God without a capital letter. This is just disrespectful to me, they may not know, but it just makes sense to me. Then again, maybe they do not or have not read the Bible to know. This is why spreading our knowledge of God's will and messages is so important!
Isaiah 25:8 when you dissect the verse you can get a better understanding. Basically, the beginning states that God will destroy the power of death. To better understand this, we should understand where death's origin was and what it means within the Bible. Death was a result of the miscommunication and deceit in the Garden of Eden between Adam and Eve. When I read about Adam and Eve within the Bible, my understanding and interpretation was different from what had been lectured to me growing up within the confines of our societies version of 'church'.
In the Garden of Eden, God had blessed his creation Man and Woman with the luxury of each other along with a completely different paradigm that we are use to. What we know as dangerous animals were able to live together in peace.  However, man (Adam) wanted the knowledge of God, which in the Bible is representative of the golden fruit. God told Adam that if he ate from the fruit he would have unlimited knowledge, but God told him not to do this or they would fall out of favor with the LORD. God told Adam to make sure Eve was aware of this, because she was not with them while they discussed these matters. Not following through with what God instructed Adam to do, Eve unaware of God's decree, Eve came across the golden fruited tree.

The serpent within the Bible has been representative of Satan, the fallen Angle of the LORD. Cunning as Satan was, he manipulated Eve into taking a bite of the fruit of knowledge (think of the fairy tale Snow White). Adam wanting the knowledge of God did not object (in other words, he didn't need his arm twisted). The transformation was evident (this was also the first sin), Adam and Eve felt embarrassed that they were in their birthday suites (why pictures have them covered by leaves or such). Adam was cursed with having to work for his life. Eve, since she was the first to take a bite He cursed her with painful childbirth and bleeding (menstrual cycle). God also explained and initiated Death. I think that God shakes his head in disbelief that after all this time, men and women still are cursed with deceit and lies (miscommunication).
Death in the Bible is not depicted as 'going to heaven' or 'hell', but an eternal rest (which God only truly

knows, if He wanted us to have this knowledge, then we would know - until then, the Bible's interpretation). My question has always been, that since our brains are complex and mysterious, if after we die that we then are in a different conscious realm until the time God returns. Which, I then theorize that Heaven is a mental state. When God returns to His creation, Earth; He will then resurrect His followers to live eternity on earth without pain and suffering. I don't know about you, but this gives me a real sense of hope for the future.

Earth is a gift from God

This gives me such hope, something to look forward to; living without pain and suffering. As someone that does currently live with daily chronic pain, this is a breath of fresh air. When I cry because the pain is too intense, I think of God wiping my tears away forevermore. I can't remember what movie, but I remember someone referencing how God collects women's tears in jars and counted in heaven.
Rebuke defined is an expression of sharp disapproval or criticism. So, what this verse also communicates is how those individuals that are not believers and criticize or judge other's for His governing laws will be taken away from the earth. They will no longer spread the negativity like the plague upon the earth. God is saying that he will wipe away not only our tears, but those that cause the tears.

"He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall be taken away from off all the earth: for the LORD hath spoken it." Isaiah 25:8 (King James Version)

My cousin Michelle taught me a wonderful insight into the will of God, recite to yourself: smile, God loves you! Smiling is an infectious positive influence that does not cost anything and can benefit others. We may have times where we are sad and cry, when we produce tears of joy, and tears from pain. Knowing God's will helps me to endure this pain and smile through it. It gives me the courage to face this life, knowing His will be done, and look forward to His time here on earth.

Until next time or the next... dream ~ K.E.Nowinsky

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