Saturday, November 29, 2014


I've decided to just add two months together to try to catch up. October is a rough month for me anyway because it is the month that my son passed away and was born, so it's a difficult month to get through which I'll go into more depth alter. November was busy because I dove head-first into getting my second book published, which I'll go into more about as well. So here we go, the third and fourth installment of "No Mean For A Year Challenge"! This was originally started in an attempt for self-respect, teaching me how to condition myself for greater things, and I must say it's WORKING!


Originally October was going to be the month I took charge of a healthier me, it wasn't the right time to start this just yet; one thing at a time. October is especially difficult for me because my son was born October 28th, 2002 and he passed October 6th, 2013. It was his one year anniversary of gaining his angel wings. We did a lot of healing things to honor his memory, I have an entire Facebook page dedicated in his memory. We shared pictures of his precious time here on earth and I shared some great memories. Last year to honor his birthday (which was only days after his passing, so it was excruciating) we released balloons that we had written personal messages on with the hash-tag #HonorKaleb. Although, after reading about how dangerous this is for wildlife, we decided not to do that this year. His plaque was finally placed on his grave site, so my mother and I went and purchased big beautiful synthetic flowers and things to place in the vase. It was sad but it felt good also to finally get his site looking nice. 

Needless to say, I didn't have much time for the month of October to even think about dating or the opposite sex; which is a good thing! And yes, I've slacked off a lot with journaling. I think every day was a lot to take-on. In retrospection, I think it's good to journal every day in the beginning to condition your brain and to get someone started in the right direction. It was really good for me to focus on loving myself - which honestly, I still have a hard time with - but, I'm learning. I've already learnt so much, I know I definitely deserve better than what I have put up with in the past. This time is all about me and what I need, no more sacrificing of myself for others, no more of the altruistic BS. In this attempt I sat down and considered goals to accomplish this year. These goals include a couple different blogging challenges (this one included) along with my publishing goals. Writing has becomes more than something I just do, now I consider myself a writer and if someone asks me what I do I replay "I'm a blogger and writer" which has helped me to get over some social anxieties as well. With these goals printed and posted so I had visual reminders to keep me on track, I dove head-first into the writing realm. I finished my first rough draft of my second book toward the end of October.