tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53709468783479452382024-03-18T02:48:12.113-07:00Faith WarriorThere are many aspects of my life that people are always asking me about. Believe it or not, I have been through a lot. I am sure there are many that have experienced much more than I have. Through my pain I have gained knowledge and willingly share my testimony.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-39339726902993085722019-02-27T12:35:00.000-08:002019-02-27T12:35:45.540-08:00<h2>
URGENT ADVOCACY ACTION ALERT!</h2>
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If you didn't already know, many agencies have been advocating in Annapolis for better funding for Direct Support Professionals, who (outside of family) are the most important person in the life of someone with an intellectual or developmental disability. </div>
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Better funding is CRITICAL for providing quality care to people with differing abilities (formally known as disabilities). When we do not have adequate funding, we cannot recruit and retain high quality Direct Support Professionals. Already, agencies are struggling with high turnover and short-staffing.</div>
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Direct Support jobs are <u>not minimum wage jobs</u>. Being responsible for another human being's life is <u>not a minimum wage job</u>. Yet, the other evening -every single member of the <a href="http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmMain.aspx?pid=cmtepage&stab=04&id=ecm&tab=subject7&ys=2019RS" target="_blank">Economic Matters Committee</a><span style="color: blue;"> </span><i>voted to cut Developmental Disability Community Funding down to a 3% increase each year!</i></div>
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<span style="color: magenta;">This action made Developmental Disability Community Providers the LOWEST funded providers in the entire bill!</span> </div>
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We are asking you to do 2 things to ensure that your loved one, someone you know who receive services, or someone you know with differing abilities receive the quality support they deserve:</div>
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1.) Please contact ALL of your representatives who are on the Economic Matters Committee <i>now</i>.</div>
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This is what you could say:</div>
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<li>Your vote to cut funding in <b>HB166</b> for Developmental Disability Community Providers will decimate the Developmental Disability Community Service Systems, and harm tens of thousands of people with disabilities, their families, and the workers who support them!</li>
<li>When you cut Developmental Disability Community Services to fund other Medicaid providers in your amendments the other evening, your actions made developmental disabilities providers THE LOWEST FUNDED providers in the bill!</li>
<li>At a mere 3% annual increase, the funding for our Developmental Disability Community Services will NOT KEEP PACE with the increases in the minimum wage and funding for newly hired (staring wage) Direct Support Professionals will be LESS than the state minimum wage! </li>
<li>It's not too late to reverse what you did and make it right!</li>
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2.) After you contact your members of the Economic Matters Committee, please then contact <a href="https://maryland.maps.arcgis.com/apps/webappviewer/index.html?id=177afa87a67746a4ac5496b2d0897fb7" target="_blank">ALL your district Delegates</a> AND <a href="http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmMain.aspx?pid=sponpage&tab=subject6&id=busch&stab=01" target="_blank">House Speaker Michael Busch</a> with the same message. If you don't know who your district Delegates are you can click on the link to find out.</div>
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This is an extremely important message to get out for anyone that works within the Developmental Disability Community Services, their families and even if you know of someone who receives supports. We cannot keep non-profit organizations afloat if we don't fight! We cannot keep the quality of staff in supporting the people that we do without paying them a fair wage! As it is our Direct Support Professionals (DSP) do not make enough for the jobs that they do. I use to be a DSP and it's a very demanding job and it's definitely not a minimum wage job, it's a profession that deserves respect and not minimization! I'm passionate about this, not only because I've been in this field for over 30 years, but because my son had special needs and I couldn't have done it without the support I received from non-profit organizations that assisted me within the Developmental Disability Community Services. As the price of living continues to increase each year, the percentage that the state determines for the Developmental Disability Community Services has not been to par! </div>
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Please Join the Fight</h3>
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What happens if the quality of care is not there? It puts the people we're supporting at risk and could even cost them their life. Not only do non-profit organization have to worry about paying their employees a fair wage, they also have to maintain the state required training and certifications. That's why it's stressed before that a Direct Support Professional or a DSP within the Developmental Disability Community Services <b>is not a minimum wage job</b>. Watch what a medical technician or a nurse does while they're assisting someone within their charge while at the hospital, this is what a DSP does and even more. If we cannot pay the DSP's then there is a high turnover rate and what does this do for a non-profit organization trying to assist people with varying abilities? It means that people come and people go, they don't care about the people they're supporting and they're going to find a job that pays more and they don't have as much responsibility; it happens all the time right now our DSP's tell us they can make more working for Amazon and other local companies.</div>
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It's a Constant Fight & We Need Your Help!</h3>
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Please take the time to make the calls, send the emails and share the message.</div>
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According to the site <a href="https://www.statista.com/topics/768/cost-of-living/" target="_blank">statista, the U.S. cost of living - statistics & facts</a> the <i>"Percentage of change in average annual consumer expenditure of consumer units in the U.S. <b>4.8%</b></i> but, the Economic Matters Committee voted unanimously that for the Developmental Disability Community Services will only receive 3% cost of living annual increase?! How does this make sense?! Just to give you an example, the site also states that the <i>"Median asking rent for unfurnished apartments in the U.S. $1,492 [per month]"</i> and you can do a quick Google search, here in the state of Maryland, the average rent is even more than that. But, if you take what the average Direct Support Professional is making, they cannot even pay rent on a place to live. The minimum wage in the state of Maryland right now is $10.10 per hour, a 3% increase is .303. The 3% increase would mean that the people out there supporting the people we love in the Developmental Disability Community Services, they would only be paid $10.40 per hour for assisting them with their daily activities, for cleaning them up when they've had an accident, for holding their hand and comforting them when they're sick, tired or scared; for working on their behavior plans, or personal goals or having special training; for being there during emergencies, having all their medical information at the hospital to give report to the medical providers, staying there with the person their supporting. This is including giving their medicines, which they have to go through Board of Nursing certification classes and maintain that certificate; certified medical technician or CMT. This doesn't even scratch the surface of the services provided and they're supposed to do this for $10.10 this year and $10.40 next year, and $10.71 for the year 2021? You're not going to get the quality of care that we need for the people we're supporting.</div>
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What happens if the quality of care is not there? It puts the people we're supporting at risk and could even cost them their life. Not only do non-profit organization have to worry about paying their employees a fair wage, they also have to maintain the state required training and certifications. That's why it's stressed before that a Direct Support Professional or a DSP within the Developmental Disability Community Services <b>is not a minimum wage job</b>. Watch what a medical technician or a nurse does while they're assisting someone within their charge while at the hospital, this is what a DSP does and even more. If we cannot pay the DSP's then there is a high turnover rate and what does this do for a non-profit organization trying to assist people with varying abilities? It means that people come and people go, they don't care about the people they're supporting and they're going to find a job that pays more and they don't have as much responsibility; it happens all the time right now our DSP's tell us they can make more working for Amazon and other local companies.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-61529734208950680872015-09-11T09:08:00.000-07:002015-09-11T09:08:47.087-07:00REMEMBERING 9/11<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In memory of the tragic events that happened 14 years ago today, I wanted to share my memory, and thank the many service men and women who gave their lives that day. Plus, I would like to thank God for the many service men and women that continue to sacrifice and give for their fellow man; with little or no recognition. It really makes me sad to think that these same service men and women are being targeted on the streets today. Where have our dignity and morals gone?</div>
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September 11th, 2001, I was working at a special needs school and every morning I was scheduled to leave to work at a student's home. Every day was the same, I would sign-out, proceed to my car, and make my way to their home. However, on this day, as I listened to the radio frantic reports were coming in about a horrific accident in New York. My hands began to shake, but I kept them on the steering wheel, and kept driving to my destination. Once I arrived, I asked immediately what was going on, their television was on and we all anticipated the reports. A plan had crashed into the World Trade Center in New York. Immediately my heart dove toward my stomach, I have family in New York, again my heart beat against my stomach as reports started coming in about terrorist attacks. I still managed to get through the lesson plans, even though my legs were weak and my hands shook. When I returned to school, there was a lot of buzz going around, and schools inevitably let out early. Making a cell phone call at this time was impossible as the message would inform you that all circuits were busy or shut down. As we continued to hear of other attacks and attempts, life as we know it would change forever. </div>
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At the time I was living with my then boyfriend; (who would later become my husband, and then ex-husband) we were house-sitting. The people we were house-sitting for were in the military and were living over in Afghanistan. Later, as I sat in this house watching the reports, I could feel the terror as a thought crossed my mind; were the people we were house-sitting for in danger, what and where would the next attacks happen? I even considered if they would attack specific homes and was this home I was house-sitting a potential target? How could this happen and why did this happen? So many have speculated and we have yet to have definitive answers. I know the general populace believed that Osama Bin Laden was behind the attacks, and if he was he's now answering for his crimes; since supposedly he was killed. Fourteen years later and we're still waiting for justice. Will we ever feel at peace? Too many people died that day for anyone to ever forget. I pray that those directly involved and who have lost dear loved ones, can find it in their hearts to forgive the ignorance of others; only then could we find the peace so many are seeking. That doesn't mean we will ever forget, we can forgive, but never forget.</div>
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It seems strange now to even fathom that I was married a few months later, had a child and experienced so much in that time, and lost that child all in this span of fourteen years. How children that lost their parents that day are now full-grown and leading their own lives. How wive's and husband's who lost their significant other's fourteen years ago, are now married and their families have grown. However as Vigil's serenity states "No day shall erase you from the memory of time." As American's I hope we take these memories and challenge ourselves to stand firm against those working against our nation; forgive their actions as we would want to be forgiven. We need to pray, and pray hard for this nation. Too many deals are being conducted that makes my stomach just turn. Our government was once a fierce and solid institution; now it is a cowardly and greedy one. They would sell US all to make a profit. Just keep that in mind this election season and as we watch what the government continues to make deals with; especially overseas.</div>
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<b>"If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." <i><a href="http://www.openbible.info/topics/revival" target="_blank">2 Chronicles 7:14</a></i></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-1198372297591512612015-09-09T06:58:00.000-07:002015-09-09T07:03:09.168-07:00YEAR OF THANKS #3<div style="text-align: center;">
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September</h2>
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This month I am thankful for the people in my life that take those few minutes a day to make sure I'm doing okay. Friends, family, and the people closest to me know that I am not someone who will seek help from others. Not only am I an <a href="http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html" target="_blank">empath</a>, I also have <a href="http://psychology.about.com/od/personalitydevelopment/fl/5-Signs-You-Are-an-Introvert.htm" target="_blank">introverted</a> tendencies, so I keep things that bother me bottled up (until I explode) - sound familiar? But, when I do decide to reach out, I know I can count on those closest to me for their support. I am so truly blessed that I have such wonderful people in my life that have been there for me through all the different levels of hell that I've been through in my life, and even the trivial trials that I've faced. I thank God for each one of these very important individuals!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQH4NgYTWib0N-uISQrLp7jzdhRL_WACZoRGYg8vgOHLssKSn2GQ8OgjoB8muRSss8IwdJSS_pR8qfN3uUN1NKDy0EeZlMSEI-ZAuwskNdXh7O6pCFuMQwjaZYn7aIT39MuTR4NjcYXeR_/s1600/1908030_914786491904095_1883502888217468849_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQH4NgYTWib0N-uISQrLp7jzdhRL_WACZoRGYg8vgOHLssKSn2GQ8OgjoB8muRSss8IwdJSS_pR8qfN3uUN1NKDy0EeZlMSEI-ZAuwskNdXh7O6pCFuMQwjaZYn7aIT39MuTR4NjcYXeR_/s320/1908030_914786491904095_1883502888217468849_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>Recently, something happened that really threw me for a loop; people usually don't surprise me, but the actions of this person definitely did. Because of this, my mind was sent swimming toward the vortex of all those emotions that can drive the sanity right out of someone. Thank God I have a strong constitution, which I wouldn't have without Christ in my life, and praise God that HE continues to protect us! The situation could have been a lot worse, so I'm thankful that it wasn't. I'm also thankful that, along with my family and friends, we have been able to work through it and can now move forward; praise God! </div>
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Links</h4>
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<a href="https://www.joycemeyer.org/" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer Ministries</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2015/01/year-of-thanks.html" target="_blank">Year of Thanks - Faith Warrior</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2015/02/year-of-thanks-2.html" target="_blank">Year of Thanks #2 - Faith Warrior</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-34401429340960071072015-09-08T13:21:00.002-07:002015-09-08T13:21:40.727-07:00WORDLESS WEDNESDAY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Thank you to <a href="http://www.create-with-joy.com/" target="_blank">CREATE WITH JOY</a> for this great blog hop where we can come together and share our unique posts. For this Wordless Wednesday the topic is to share our favorite family-friendly photos! I've decided to share my favorite shots from this past summer. Enjoy!</div>
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<a href="http://www.create-with-joy.com/2015/09/wordless-wednesday-the-sentry.html" target="_blank">Wordless Wednesday Official Site Link</a></h4>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When everyone else is preparing for the start of school and buying supplies, I bought new flowers and things for his grave site.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sister's dog that we watch during the day -- Hope -- we all need a little <i>hope</i> in our lives.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A sunflower shot from the backyard.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sister snapped this pic of her eldest during a viola lesson.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My dog Bryan -- Best Dog Ever</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My parent's dog Sammy -- a.k.a "The Pest"</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My youngest niece inspecting her token for her fish she won!</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-16868008265005147132015-09-01T10:27:00.001-07:002015-09-01T10:27:51.060-07:00SLEEP CONDITIONING<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Does this ever happen to you? You are <i>exhausted,</i> you finally get to go to bed, but you are <i>wide awake</i>? Or, are you dragging your feet -heck- your entire body in the morning and won't make it too far without your <i>first</i> cup of coffee?<br />
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I wondered how many of us are affected by sleep disorders, so of course as any of us would do, I Googled it. "According to the <a href="http://www.ninds.nih.gov/" target="_blank">National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke</a>, about 40 million people in the United States suffer from chronic long-term sleep disorders each year and an additional 20 million people experience occasional sleep problems." Combined that's <b>60 million people</b>! In case you were further wondering, like myself, there are 318.9 million people in the US (2014). So, if we lined up everyone in the United States, approximately every fifth person would have some form of sleep dysfunction.<br />
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Why is this so alarming? Because our bodies have certain requirements that must be met in order to survive and function properly. Just as we need to eat and drink to fuel and hydrate our bodies, we also need sleep for many things including maintaining our minds. So, why is sleep so important? Without sleep our brains will perform slower and affects both our cognitive skills and emotional well being. I had read an article recently how some companies in Asia (I believe it was Japan) schedule naps for their employees because it promotes a better working environment and increases their productivity. It's true! Lack of sleep will significantly decrease many aspects of both your mind and body. Long-term sleep deficiency can even cause serious health issues. So, we can all agree that sleep is a necessity, correct? Now, how do we break the vicious cycle of insomnia? Easy, we recondition our brains. Think of it like you are rebooting and reprogramming your computer; except this might actually be easier.<br />
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First Things First</h2>
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In order to reclaim healthy sleeping habits, you have to think of a circle, within that circle there are three main goals that must be achieved daily; <b>mind</b>, <b>body</b>, and <b>soul</b>. When we connect the trinity, we can connect to a well being, and ultimately a healthy and happy state. There are many aspects of everyone's "circles", but for now, we're focusing on achieving and maintaining healthy sleeping patterns. </div>
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If you were to research ways to help you sleep, many articles will tell you to eat healthy, exercise, and allow yourself adequate down-time. What this translates to is to cut your caffeine intake (especially in the afternoon and evening hours - trust me once you are sleeping regularly you won't need multiple cups of coffee a day, you won't even need that morning cup to get you going), it also means to take notice of what you are actually eating as some things can contribute to heart burn and so forth, and could cause you discomfort before bed and further complicate the vicious circle you are trying to break free from. The easiest way during this transition is to do a somewhat cleanse, by eating healthy and doing away with carbonated drinks, and especially caffeine. </div>
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<b>Warning</b>: if you regularly consume caffeine daily, then you could experience caffeine withdraw (that's right people, just like a <i>drug</i>). Have some Excedrin: Migraine or whatever you might take for headache's handy, and don't forget to drink plenty of water. I'm not saying you have to go green or anything, just try to make the conscious choice to eat healthier (at least for a week or two). </div>
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Now that we are starting to work on your body; exercise is another key factor. If you are like me and are limited in this area, it doesn't have to be strenuous activities. I've noticed my best sleep cycles occur during the spring and summer months because that is when I am the most active. </div>
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When we exercise there are so many good chemicals released in our body, and those good chemicals are sparking our brain to function properly. You can start by parking your car farther away from the store so that you have to walk a little further; when you are walking try picking up your natural pace. </div>
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Whatever your activity is, it's working your body, which is producing more chemical firing for a healthier state. Everyone is different, if you haven't exercised in years, your body isn't conditioned to run a marathon. It's wise to <b>consult with your doctor</b> and communicate with them about your health concerns and needs. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNUsVi3N8pUXH9ZolubhpRrnTkIH9lWVs9aAgNIYyK3MACv4hty-nSIwNI0gpv9H0_IpjJOMi8p5KhF6DiV6O4Y0jO257I34MvEK9qzo8BMcQnlxlWRpYqaB9YW2XOaNd8ZJ-_pgw-xWr-/s1600/Brain-Rules-Quotes-sleep-well-think-well.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNUsVi3N8pUXH9ZolubhpRrnTkIH9lWVs9aAgNIYyK3MACv4hty-nSIwNI0gpv9H0_IpjJOMi8p5KhF6DiV6O4Y0jO257I34MvEK9qzo8BMcQnlxlWRpYqaB9YW2XOaNd8ZJ-_pgw-xWr-/s400/Brain-Rules-Quotes-sleep-well-think-well.jpg" width="400" /></a>My only concern with the medical field, or at least it has been my experience, that they are too quick to prescribe medications. There is this mentality in our culture that a pill can fix anything and I have a huge problem with this. Of course, there are serious conditions that do require medications, I'm not saying <i>don't</i> take your medicine, I'm saying be careful. </div>
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At one point in my life I was on so much medication I felt like my life revolved around taking pills, and it truly did to some degree (I have chronic pain and severe nerve damage). However, I am happy to state that I am pill free. Does this mean I <i>never</i> take medication? No, it does not. I only take medicine when my body tells me to, when I am experiencing true pain. I say <i>true pain</i> because we can have phantom pain and other types of pain, our bodies can become addicted to medicine without even really knowing we are, so our brain tells us that we are hurting so that we will want or believe we need to take medication to feel better... yet another vicious cycle. Have you ever read the warning labels on your pill bottles? Just watching a single medicine commercial should tell us that it's not necessarily to our benefit to take! Again, please consult your medical professional before detoxing from your medications. </div>
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<b>Read Labels</b>: a side effect could intrude on your ability to sleep properly. Know what you are putting into your body, just don't accept and trust that everyone else has your best interest and health as a priority. Unfortunately, there are so many chemicals in our environment that can seriously hurt us. Just ask my father who is a victim of Agent Orange and now has diabetes because of it.</div>
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So, we've tackled the body and part of the mind, now we have to address the rest of our mind and how it connects to our spirituality. I understand not everyone is religious, and I'm not saying you have to be; it's your life. However, I will explain how my spirituality ties into my health and ultimately has helped me in sleeping better. I'm not trying to convert you, I'll just share my life's journey and where I am now. </div>
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I've always been spiritual, you can say it's part of being Native American, you can say that it's because I've experienced trauma, but I say it is because I am faithful and believe in the one and only God. I have been studying the Bible, not that I can throw down Bible versus or anything, but I study as a tool. It helps me to grow and rejuvenate my spirit, as well as builds on my personal relationship with the Lord. </div>
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Many people are plagued with negative thoughts or some form of fear(s). Did you know that there are 365 passages in the Bible that directly state not to be fearful, its literally telling us every day of an entire year not to be afraid (I had read this in a devotional). So, why are we so fearful? That's a much deeper question and will change for each and every one of us. Our society is constantly putting fear into our subconscious, and while some warnings are to our benefit, other's are a direct attempt to keep us in fear. Why? Could it be so that as a mass people we can be controlled? If we have nothing to fear, then why would we have a <i>need</i>? It's a deep question and something to ponder over, but certainly don't do that heavy lifting before bed!</div>
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My point was, that by connecting to your spirituality you can experience that fresh breath of air; where you can have a true experience and sense of peace. So, where do we start? Some people are turned off to studying the Bible because to them it's a difficult trillion pieced puzzle that they don't even want to begin to tackle. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? Just take it one day at a time.</div>
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When I was in my twenties I attempted to read the Bible from front to back and somewhere in the middle I seemed to get lost in the words. Toward my later twenties I discovered an amazing learning Bible, which I still love, because each script was broken down and explained into more details (which was great for me and how my brain works). But, eventually that too got pushed to the side. Now, I have a <a href="https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/store/apps/bible/9wzdncrfj1fd" target="_blank">Bible app</a>! It's been wonderful and honestly, I probably didn't utilize it for the first few years I had my smart phone. Now, I get push notifications daily of scriptures, it's truly wonderful and has blessed my life.</div>
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Conditioning 101</h2>
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What is conditioning? You might think of conditioning as something an athlete does, and you would be absolutely correct. An athlete has to condition themselves or else they won't make the cut or could be seriously injured. Look at it this way, if we are not getting enough sleep we are hurting our bodies. In order to not cause yourself any further self-harm, start making the choices with the knowledge that you have the power to condition yourself. It's an easy formula to put your brain on the right path. </div>
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Many of us are negative; an easy conditioning exercise is for every negative thought or statement, to immediately think of or state two positives. So, for instance, if I were to say or think that my writing sucks, I would immediately have to say or think two positives: I communicate well through my writing, and I have a gift for explaining things and educating others. For this exercise you can enlist the help and support of friends and family. Let them know you are working on yourself and if they hear you say anything bad about yourself, that they are to remind you to say two positives about yourself.</div>
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Why do you need to condition your thoughts? Even if we think negative thoughts, it will affect what you think about yourself. I'm not saying to be a narcissist, quite the contrary, I'm saying don't down-yourself because negativity begets more negativity; and that darkness can swallow you and before you know it your staring down depression and wondering how you got there. Have enough self-worth and believe in yourself. You are a unique wonderful human being and don't forget it. If someone makes you feel any different, then it's time to evaluate the relationship. Toxic relationships aren't healthy ones and they will invade our thoughts as we're attempting to fall asleep. But, how can I stop my brain from thinking like this? Take control of your thoughts. </div>
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When you are going to sleep, if you start thinking of work, or a relationship, immediately go to your <i>happy place</i>. This is part of conditioning too. Our <i>happy place</i> is whatever it needs to be, a (healthy) fantasy, or something or somewhere where we feel or think we would feel happy. One of my happy places is a deserted island, which might not be for everyone because you might stress about finding shelter and other things. I have found that happy places should be fictional; somewhere where those stresses don't apply. When I'm thinking of my island, I'm thinking warm sands between my toes, crystal blue waters, and a perfect sun filled day. Start thinking from your head to your toes, how the sun would feel warm on your head, how the breeze would caress your skin, and how the sand feels between your toes. This is a conditioning tool to help sedate your mind, it will help you slip more effectively into your sleep state. </div>
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Another conditioning process is to have an activity you do before bed, and do it every night before you go to sleep, this will trigger your body and brain that by doing this it's time for bed. Mine activity is my Bible app, I have a daily devotional that I do, currently is is <a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/199-promises-for-your-everyday-life" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer: Promises for your everyday life</a>, I'm currently 52% through this devotional, each day it will give you a different passage in the Bible and then there is the devotional, where it describes the passage and how it is applied to our daily lives. </div>
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Be careful with electrical devices before bed though, it has been proven that exposure to your electronic devices before bed can disturb your circadian rhythm. <a href="http://www.nigms.nih.gov/Education/Pages/Factsheet_CircadianRhythms.aspx" target="_blank">Circadian rhythm</a> is our 24 hour biological process that our body goes through. While I might use the Bible app on my iPhone before bed, the majority of the reading has a black background with white (or red) lettering as not to disturb this process. Be mindful of how much time you are staring at an electric screen in the duration of a day. Combined with doing a certain activity regularly, you're putting yourself on a schedule, and you might not like schedules, but it helps our bodies to know when to start powering down; it helps our brains to go into sleep mode, and our spirit to work while we are sleeping to rejuvenate and get us ready for the next day.</div>
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You can do it! It might seem like a lot, it might not. Either way, follow through with the process and see if you don't experience a better night's sleep. After I had a nervous break-down a few years back and had to do an outpatient program, these basic concepts were shared; eat regularly, get adequate sleep, and don't stop working on yourself. We're a constant work-in-progress.<br />
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Someone around this time in my life told me, if I was working too hard then something was going to give. What they meant was that there was too much going on, I was the primary caregiver for my special needs son, I was working full-time, obtaining a college education, working on relationships, trying to maintain a home, and everything else.<br />
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We all take our daily activities for granted in various ways, but each should be considered and valued (like money). We have so much to spend each day, if we spend too much, something eventually is going to give. Once my "going to give" gave, I did reevaluate my life and made serious changes; life's definitely not easy, sometimes we can take that easy path, but sometimes that easy path doesn't pay-off either. Either way, when we take care of ourselves, it will reflect in our lives. So please, take care of yourself and sweet dreams.<br />
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Links</h4>
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<a href="http://www.healthcommunities.com/sleep-disorders/overview-of-sleep-disorders.shtml" target="_blank">Health Communities - Sleep Disorder Overview</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/brain_basics/understanding_sleep.htm" target="_blank">National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke - Brain Basics: Understanding Sleep</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.diabetes.org/living-with-diabetes/complications/related-conditions/agent-orange.html?referrer=https://www.google.com/" target="_blank">Diabetes & Agent Orange</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/store/apps/bible/9wzdncrfj1fd" target="_blank">Link to Bible app for your smart phone</a></div>
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<a href="https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/199-promises-for-your-everyday-life" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer: Promises for your everyday life 365 days a week devotional</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.nigms.nih.gov/Education/Pages/Factsheet_CircadianRhythms.aspx" target="_blank">National Institute of General Medical Sciences: Circadian Rhythms Fact Sheet</a> </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-2904258198494659412015-08-08T17:15:00.001-07:002015-08-17T07:38:20.371-07:00CHALLENGE COMPLETED<h1 align="center">
August - "Walking In Faith"</h1>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">With the challenge at an end, I can look back and appreciate the year. Recently, I met up with my friend that challenged me to go without dating or sexual relations with a man for an entire year. At times it was quite challenging; I think I mentioned last month how I avoided watching any shows and sometimes even Facebook because there were pictures of men. After having lunch with my friend, I realized just how much I've grown, I've learned to love myself more, and that I am worth everything. Most importantly this month I decided to <em>walk in faith</em>. Sometimes when I don't feel well, I tell myself "do as much as you can, it's better than nothing", I'm walking in faith that God will give me no pain and energy to get through the day. When something new is on the horizon and fear starts to creep in, I tell myself about how the Bible has those 365 passages that God tells us to not have fear, He is with us; so I close my eyes and take that proverbial step forward. <span style="font-family: Verdana;">What I realized was the unhealthy behavior I had before was like a drug. I needed that <em>fix</em> and needed to <em>feel</em> needed. Now, I don't have that need. It's almost like I've detoxed. I don't regret doing the challenge. I'm glad that I did and completed it. Now I can move on to the next challenge.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"For we live by faith, not by sight."</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-68008288337480444822015-08-08T06:21:00.001-07:002015-08-17T07:39:04.842-07:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #12<h1 align="center">
July - "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"</h1>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">In July there was a death in the family. Death always makes us look at the mortality of life. Life really is too short. This month I also focused on counting my blessings instead of obsessing over what isn't "right" in my life. Who says it's not "right"? I've really worked on detoxing myself with societal standards. Yeah, I might not look like the girls in magazines or the women on television, but I'm NOT them and I have been through REAL trauma and hell (a couple times) in my life. The scars I do have I wear as a proud reminder that life tried to knock me down (repeatedly) but, I didn't let it keep me down. I'm a survivor. It's taken me a long time to accept that I'm not perfect - but, who the hell is - NO ONE! Jesus is the only person that has been the standard for perfection - and he died so that we can live. What does that tell you - It tells me not to waste anymore of my time with fear or any of that silly business and just have fun. Speaking of fear, I read a devotional recently where it talked about how there are 365 passages in the Bible where God specifically tells us not to be fearful, and that's a daily reminder for an entire year - do not fear, He is with you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">Not that I'm going to go out, kick my heels up, and cause drama. Quite the opposite, I try to stay far-far away from drama. I know I deserve someone who will treat me right, cherish what I do have to offer, and want to grow old together. My delusional thoughts like to keep me knocked down by telling myself that I'm fat, and therefore I am ugly; that I am nothing, and that I have nothing to offer. Lies. When doing devotionals I've read repeatedly how "the devil" likes to tell us these lies because it can keep us from furthering our relationship with God. However, sometimes we have to travel those troubled waters to draw closer to Him - and that's what he wants, He wants US. So, I started doing devotionals learning about God's love, and defining love itself. When I listened to songs, instead of telling myself "that would be nice, if a man thought that way about me" or something along those lines - so I had to recondition my brain, instead of wishing for a silly relationship with an earthly man, I would listen to the song and think about God's love; unconditional and unyielding - much more meaningful than any sort of mortal, flesh ridden love. Next time you are feeling unloved, find your favorite love song, and instead of dwelling on those lost loves, or the love that you long for in the song, think of God's love instead and tell me that you aren't immediately filled with the Spirit.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-6045494018482225232015-08-08T05:52:00.001-07:002015-08-17T07:39:48.123-07:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #11<h1 align="center">
June - "Dirt Therapy"</h1>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">Watching television, movies, and even Facebook have becoming challenging. There are pictures of hot men everywhere! My kryptonite; Henry Cavill, Chris Hemsworth, along with any other man at this point. I needed something (other than cold showers) to cool me off. So, why not go in a different direction. Something else that has completely frustrated me this year was the fact that my garden was over-taken my thistle weed! This kept me really busy and it was a great distraction for me. I didn't see it at the time, but I see it now. God always has a plan. It was a wonderful achievement to sit back once the garden was thistle free and really started to fill in with yummy goodness; Zucchini, Spaghetti Squash, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, and Watermelon. PLUS, with all my hard work in the garden I was able to bless others with amazing veggies.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">"Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression. For me, inactivity is the enemy." I've found this to be an absolute truth. I definitely have seasonal depression and I realize it is because during the colder months I am less active and feeds a vicious cycle - the less active I am, the more my depression acts up, the more my body experiences pain, and it just keeps going round and around. All of this changes for me around Mother's Day. This is when my family buys a bunch of flowers for my mom and plant them out back. I call this my "Dirt Therapy" - when my hands are in the dirt my entire mentality changes. We all have something that changes those brain chemicals and spreads a little sunshine inside an otherwise dark place. June is also my mom's birthday, so it's a busy month of planting, gardening, and then maintaining. I also made sure my inside plants were cleaned and fertilized. A real gem was going to local stores (Wal*Mart, Loews, and Home Depot were my choices) and going to their gardening centers and checking out their clearance racks... the plants might not look great, but with some TLC they come back and look beautiful. It's another feeling of accomplishment when you can nurse the poor things back to life.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-29087506221157617532015-08-06T18:57:00.001-07:002015-08-17T07:40:11.003-07:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #10<h1 align="center">
MAY - Therapy Through Friends</h1>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">Is talking with your ex ever really a good idea? I know there is a debate if men and women can really ever be "just friends" with no "benefits" - I watched movies where the guys have always commented that men are only interested in women for one thing... so if they are friends with you, they've already imagined having sex with you a couple different ways etc. I would like to believe that men and women could be friends without the benefits and so I set forth with this attitude - yes, apparently I'm that naïve. So, one day my ex and I started chatting through text messages about what went wrong. But, I was proud of myself - I was totally honest with him and told him about my challenge and that I wasn't "in the market". I told him we could be friends but that's as far as any relationship between us would ever go. It was good too to talk things out a little bit, I could have some closure for our past relationship in a way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">May was a great month because two of my long-time friends and I went to the beach! It brought back so many great memories and built some more. Friends are so crucial, they help, support, and keep me in-check! Alcohol is always nice too *wink-wink*. We had plenty of laughs and if I've learned anything in this life it is that you have to laugh! Talking with your friends is truly better than therapy. I think true friendship is a unconditional love, acceptance, and bond between people. You can look like total shit and they still know you and love you no matter what. There were no men, there was no "hooking up" (well, they're married too), and it was only for a weekend, but it gave us time away that was much needed. And while they talked about their troubles and their married lives with children, it's easy for me to wallow in despair. Instead, I really am secure in my single life. For a long time I was so sad and depressed (well, for other reasons too) that I wasn't married and didn't have children, but God has shown me that again, this is my time of rest. I've given so much of myself that it's time to give myself to myself. I don't need to be married and I don't need to have children, I'm happy in my faith that God has a plan for my life. I'm here as a friend, supporter, and whatever else I need to be to help others.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-33823344145241654122015-08-06T18:28:00.001-07:002015-08-17T07:40:40.031-07:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #9<h1 align="center">
April - In Like A Lion, Out Like A Lamb</h1>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">With spring comes the renewal of hope and it seems like love is all around, the birds are nesting, couples are coupling, and I'm over here in the corner puking!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: verdana;">No, seriously though, it seemed like this spring was a little bit of a hill for me to get over. Insomnia had set-in again and my mind was riddled with thoughts of past relationships, wrong-doings, and beating myself up with the reasons why I was so unlovable. Again, I was falling back into my delusional thought patterns. I needed to keep myself busy. So, I finished my second book - like it's that easy! I went through the editing process, again, and again... and again... then we had to figure out the cover and all the little goodies. It kept my mind busy on other things other than being self absorbed, which is exactly what I needed. Keeping busy was a crucial key for me. After the book launch was over, I went directly into the third book, and was advised to take a small break... self-publishing is a lot of dedication and hard work, not that other jobs aren't too. Let's just say it's a well deserved break! However, with a break also came more time for my mind to go crazy again. Finding different things to keep me busy is easy in this day and age. There was Netflix, going out with friends (when I had funds), and taking care of my two adorable nieces. It's a wonderful lesson in life to learn to count your blessings instead of worrying about everything else. I also downloaded this great Bible app that has daily devotionals, which I read before going to bed, and I actually sleep!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana;">So I realized one of my delusional thoughts has been thinking about "why I'm so unlovable" and it's not that no one wants me, it's just as the picture states above "Being single doesn't mean no one wants you it just means that God is buys writing your love story." I've decided to stop asking God for this sort of man or that kind of character, etc. Instead, I want God to take the wheel this time. Like I've mentioned before, I'm not going to be the aggressor (I'm not going to make contact, he will have to pursue me). This has to be on His terms, in His time, and I know when He sends me this person, it'll be just right. But, I'm also at the point in my life where I'm pretty happy being single. I have no real commitments, I don't have to compromise, I have my bed all to myself - and there are plenty of times I breathe that sweetness in and stretch my whole body across the bed and love it! I read a devotional recently where I felt that God is giving me this rest period, because of my past, and this is my time to rest and learn how to enjoy life again, while also learning to love myself.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-80834445664760762902015-06-23T13:01:00.002-07:002015-06-23T13:01:59.828-07:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #8<h2 style="text-align: center;">
MARCH</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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With the end of the challenge around the corner, I realized that I was way behind on posting! I took a break from blogging and writing and now I have to get my head back in the game. I am happy to report that the challenge is still intact and no signs of any interruption on the horizon. March marks seven months after a friend challenged me to "No Men for a Year" and in these months I've really strengthened my resolve. As I've mentioned before, I've always sought relationships with men because I have this need to feel love, and within my thought patterns this could only be achieved within that relationship. Well, times here are a changing, as the saying goes.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiEyMuV9Kprl97MRlVSpvbNFXZzclM_eFzp3HtNdcecIIjxkx8vGH4pDBP9b93DTw9QWAx6RieTc5Mr6XERFV8Q5YLFaPb3md5fh_5NW5EyfQ4kp1chEqb6cWQHkM0zxhuvYC7rERungb/s1600/Blog2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiEyMuV9Kprl97MRlVSpvbNFXZzclM_eFzp3HtNdcecIIjxkx8vGH4pDBP9b93DTw9QWAx6RieTc5Mr6XERFV8Q5YLFaPb3md5fh_5NW5EyfQ4kp1chEqb6cWQHkM0zxhuvYC7rERungb/s1600/Blog2.jpg" /></a>When I first started the challenge, I didn't think that it would be that big of a deal, especially since I've never really been "lucky in love" - men have never "lined up" at my door - so to speak. But, the entire purpose of the challenge was for me to essentially learn to respect myself. Now, I can tell a guy "No" and have the conviction to stand firm behind it. I can now see how unhealthy my mental reasoning and my actions have been in the past. Which lead to one of my new dating rules (for when there is a contender, and I say contender because I'm not lowering my expectations). This new rule is that he has to seek me out. In the past it seemed, in the majority of my relationships, that I was the aggressor, I was the one making contact, pushing to go out and so forth, but not anymore. I have been proud of myself that when I have wanted to do something along those lines, I have stopped myself and mentally talked myself down with reminders of the new rule - it's definitely helped.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQaVe9ApgTotTivszHxQ44f5xCIPvCtSjCiyqezxbyVee-jCFN-XlHE9zPxE2Tuxl6QXx63Cbx0rF6c3ApuTD6_wsLKXp2J2IV_iHbI0QZ5xuZ9MIThpotrGUvYXOL3MaThFu28tYzlCk/s1600/Blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGQaVe9ApgTotTivszHxQ44f5xCIPvCtSjCiyqezxbyVee-jCFN-XlHE9zPxE2Tuxl6QXx63Cbx0rF6c3ApuTD6_wsLKXp2J2IV_iHbI0QZ5xuZ9MIThpotrGUvYXOL3MaThFu28tYzlCk/s320/Blog1.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
Other than that, this month I focused more on my friends and family, and taking time for myself. I <br />
reconnected with activities that I enjoy. Which one was very time consuming and quite the guilty pleasure, I am referring to my Xbox 360. I played through the majority of Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect. We all need to spoil ourselves once in awhile.<br />
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<b>Check Out The Past Posts:</b></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2015/04/challenge-accepted-7.html" target="_blank">February</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2015/02/challenge-accepted-6.html" target="_blank">January</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2014/12/challenge-accepted-5.html" target="_blank">December</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2014/12/challenge-accepted-4.html" target="_blank">November</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2014/11/challenge-accepted.html" target="_blank">October</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2014/10/challenge-accepted.html" target="_blank">September</a></div>
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<a href="http://testimonyinlife.blogspot.com/2014/09/challenge-accepted.html" target="_blank">August</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-55688406700109758832015-04-14T12:22:00.004-07:002015-04-14T12:24:16.105-07:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #7<h2 style="text-align: center;">
FEBRUARY</h2>
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Looking back surviving the dreaded month of <i>love</i> wasn't too bad. I thought it was going to be a personal hell, but avoidance seem to work in my favor this time around. Not that I avoided the occasion, I didn't. Instead of being bitter and sad, well - I still was down, a little - but, I figured that it was a celebration of love right? Valentine's Day is suppose to be all about sharing time with the people you love. So, I figured why not! It isn't defined by a significant other, someone you are sexually tied to, or even sending something to your secret crush. This day has evolved into the celebration of love, to the simplest form. Children in school send little Valentine's greetings to their classmates, parents and children exchange their greetings with more zest on this day. But, this had me thinking, why not reach out and just extend a greeting of happiness for the day.<br />
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<i>"And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27</i><br />
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Surviving Valentine's Day</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSaia2DJz44Io-7nafcyz84rXz7v7mEl1_u0CTJLiB51dolZ6s_NkZfpSLR_WwSgBV_-tM-Vh4xSK7gpT5Eap6xehxBc7qzZxl09vCHl35e8nMydd_VBcEOXZl6VmAFHbLXj18dhfS0z-Z/s1600/V1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSaia2DJz44Io-7nafcyz84rXz7v7mEl1_u0CTJLiB51dolZ6s_NkZfpSLR_WwSgBV_-tM-Vh4xSK7gpT5Eap6xehxBc7qzZxl09vCHl35e8nMydd_VBcEOXZl6VmAFHbLXj18dhfS0z-Z/s1600/V1.jpg" height="320" width="188" /></a></div>
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We know Valentine's Day to be the day that cards and tokens of love are exchanged all in the name of romance, right? There are different theologies about the origin of Valentine's Day. Some associate that the day is linked to different Saints named Valentinus. One Saint was of legend to have penned the first Valentine's card, hence why it is the second most card given calendar event. Another Saint, against the law of the time that single soldiers could not marry, secretly went against that law and preformed marriages. Other theologies of the holiday say that Valentine's Day was created to extinguish a pagan holiday about fertility. To educate yourself about the origins of Valentine's Day visit the History website by clicking <a href="http://www.history.com/topics/valentines-day/history-of-valentines-day" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
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<i>"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8</i></div>
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I believe understanding origins is not only educating yourself, but it's also giving you more insight. Growing up I believed that this holiday was for couples only and if you didn't have a significant other it was a day that you spent feeling sorry for yourself. No more. I bought myself some Valentine's goodies as well as some for friends. I also sent cards to people that I thought might need a little pick-me-up on the day. To me, these were acts of kindness, and through that kindness demonstrates a little love. I read recently a devotional where it discussed how we have to chose to be happy. We have to diligently keep our minds away from those negative thought patterns. I am wildly guilty of this and I know it is easier said than done for most of us. For instance, this Valentine's Day I didn't chose to watch romantic movies, I chose things that would keep my mind active in other ways (I actually decided to tackle reading Stephen King's IT, quite the undertaking). I could have watched the dozen or so romantic themed movies that were airing for Valentine's, but I chose my happiness over the trap that society has built in being single on Valentine's Day. </div>
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<i>"See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ." Colossians 2:8</i><br />
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Food for Thought</h2>
As I was over-analyzing past relationships and other things today, I think I was blessed with an epiphany. How we feel after a break-up might just be how God feels when we turn away from Him.<br />
With this in mind please make sure to leave a comment, what did you do or how did you celebrate Valentine's Day this year, and any other thoughts that come to mind.<br />
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<i>"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6</i><br />
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Interesting Links</h3>
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<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/valentines-day-tees-for-singles-who-dgaf#.apQGOaKPZ" target="_blank">Buzzfeed - Tees for Singles Who DGAF</a><br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/joycemeyerministries?fref=photo" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer Ministries Facebook Page</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.joycemeyer.org/Articles/Devotional.aspx?utm_content=sf7009168&utm_medium=spredfast&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=Joyce+Meyer+Ministries&sf7009168=1" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer Daily Devotional</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/surviving-valentines-day-dos-donts-for-the-savvy-single/#.VM_CCdLF8c4" target="_blank">Surviving Valentine's Day - eHarmony</a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-8681806808918961232015-02-15T14:45:00.000-08:002015-02-15T14:46:47.370-08:00YEAR OF THANKS #2<h2 style="text-align: center;">
FEBRUARY</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv2RPtfLwd3SLJmz82A6AodacqycI82MoKwb3u9SJPIwgKRhuzIHnVrCrKYpe2X1rbxApboPYoWH7O1CFVXqg0V7vFxDRV-iHVAy87G7xM6pzEUY-cp3TMFQOYMYaHgwj98dCGjVlL6hY0/s1600/10544795_10152593854297863_8626324568479336628_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv2RPtfLwd3SLJmz82A6AodacqycI82MoKwb3u9SJPIwgKRhuzIHnVrCrKYpe2X1rbxApboPYoWH7O1CFVXqg0V7vFxDRV-iHVAy87G7xM6pzEUY-cp3TMFQOYMYaHgwj98dCGjVlL6hY0/s1600/10544795_10152593854297863_8626324568479336628_n.jpg" height="298" width="320" /></a>The second month in my <i>Year of Thanks Challenge</i> and looking back on the past few weeks there are many things that I am thankful for. But, this month I want to especially thank God for my friends. One of the highlights of my year so far was having lunch with a friend, it was such a special day to me, we had gone to a restaurant that we both had not been to before, and there in this public place she brought her paperback copies of both of my self-published works for me to sign. It was a great moment in my life. We had only recently reconnected after a few years, we both have gone through so much, and it's been so wonderful catching up. I'm just so thankful that this friend is back in my life.<br />
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<i>"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow..." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU2leMVL5ryBrypq736YoQ0nenmNqavomryzr1HG0L35UTakBN2xNzOlRCggPkwYnil4dvyykYfMWjF8ku-Vh_BAzBaIhyphenhyphen_JdWKi6InMf_M5MjVmCwri2nTo3kvbEZ_wr9rvs5098zWF2o/s1600/il_340x270.612045280_j9ws.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU2leMVL5ryBrypq736YoQ0nenmNqavomryzr1HG0L35UTakBN2xNzOlRCggPkwYnil4dvyykYfMWjF8ku-Vh_BAzBaIhyphenhyphen_JdWKi6InMf_M5MjVmCwri2nTo3kvbEZ_wr9rvs5098zWF2o/s1600/il_340x270.612045280_j9ws.jpg" height="254" width="320" /></a></div>
I'm very blessed and thankful for the friends that I do have in my life. While I do appreciate the networking and virtual friends, it has been the physical interactions that have meant more to me through this time in my life. When I was caring for my special needs son, the friends that made the effort to stay in my life, who visited and showed their support mean the world to me. The friends that have continued to be by my side through all the dark times and rough patches, they are the ones that are still there. I may not have a plethora of friends, but the one's I do have are real blessings. When we do get together to time shared is valued and cherished.<br />
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<i>"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24</i><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-80525887409115443412015-02-02T05:00:00.000-08:002015-02-02T05:00:04.704-08:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #6<h2 style="text-align: center;">
JANUARY</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" height="153" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>What are your New Year's Resolutions?</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtpsECpJMHBQhCI4ed4qnkIfxRStIrqfczMdakTuPIWiZj4I1viSSNc9IobujDKqErOE3-1EaDU6sdgDKf9zNFI_6UV-_P10jKwr7La3aunMLC6C5fg9REOiYOl8yT2aIfneW_5qfinPqY/s1600/Blog1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtpsECpJMHBQhCI4ed4qnkIfxRStIrqfczMdakTuPIWiZj4I1viSSNc9IobujDKqErOE3-1EaDU6sdgDKf9zNFI_6UV-_P10jKwr7La3aunMLC6C5fg9REOiYOl8yT2aIfneW_5qfinPqY/s1600/Blog1.jpg" height="320" width="128" /></a><br />
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Have you ever read something and when you read it again there is an entirely different message? It's amazing to me how God communicates with us when we open ourselves up to just listening. I am <i>so</i> stubborn and it is probably why it takes me <i>forever</i> to learn something. Thank goodness God is so patient! This challenge has been helping me tremendously. It is helping me to focus on myself instead of trying to reclaim some connection to someone else. The problem I have had in the past is when I enter into a relationship I get lost. My personality is a sacrificial one, I will give myself in every way to the person I am with, and in doing so I am giving away too much. As well, in the past, I willingly give away too much without reciprocation. This only led to insufficient and insecure feelings and instead of sustained relationships, I was nurturing the wrong environment for love to grow. Instead, and because I wasn't receiving what I needed, I would get depressed. But, no more! Now that I have identified a key factor and characteristic of myself; I have acknowledged it and now I am working on change. That what this year is about. I <i>have</i> to put myself first.</div>
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<i style="background-color: black; color: #c6c6c6; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; text-align: start;">"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV</i><span style="background-color: black; color: #c6c6c6; font-family: 'Walter Turncoat'; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; text-align: start;"> </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Y41pmqw788QK1rUskCLnwf92d0hc-L0YJFm4YBWELSKdm6Pu6wsvVeKRtfNhg38Qkgj9x9DV0-BUy6nZG8WxKyJ1DLWfYWsgSuVSrjc__zirpkk8gJ8Z1RGyt_kS4xHsQjdWKfa0YkbB/s1600/single7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Y41pmqw788QK1rUskCLnwf92d0hc-L0YJFm4YBWELSKdm6Pu6wsvVeKRtfNhg38Qkgj9x9DV0-BUy6nZG8WxKyJ1DLWfYWsgSuVSrjc__zirpkk8gJ8Z1RGyt_kS4xHsQjdWKfa0YkbB/s1600/single7.jpg" height="320" width="190" /></a><br />
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I can't tell you how many times I have read this scriptures, and it isn't the only one that states God will never leave you or forsake you. So, why have I been so quick to think so? Because, I wasn't putting God first in my life. For so long I have prioritized men first - this has got to change. Obviously it hasn't benefited me. As I continue to go from one relationship to the next, I was also taking those feelings of neglect, hurt, and other insecurities along with me. That isn't how you want to start a relationship. Having so many failed relationships has also made me feel like a complete failure. However, once I read and re-read different scriptures, I finally got the message! For so long I was putting my faith in finding "the one" and have been bitterly disappointed. Now, God has given me the knowledge - not to lose faith in men - but, to have faith in Him.</div>
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One night as I lay awake, I thought about how God made Eve (woman) from the rib of Adam (man), and how easily men throw away their ribs these days. It is so disturbing to me that so many marriages end in divorce and that adultery is not necessarily socially acceptable but, it seems that no one looks at the act as God does. After each ended relationship, I felt like a chewed-up discarded barbecue rib at an buffet. <i>"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Hebrews 13:4 ESV "You shall not commit adultery." Exodus 20:14 ESV </i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1pwwaAt1bgYnbddQaDWhx4BupMnYc9eBqcjczXKrS_Ye88QCIPlu7Xl8mw2R1H1W7Ox0rv-LKWTeY9fVDW8179qVF9KmJ-buy_BX0Tuufr3D7eUC0chxveTSPhG8L6DZpg6CAVPZe_gc-/s1600/Single8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1pwwaAt1bgYnbddQaDWhx4BupMnYc9eBqcjczXKrS_Ye88QCIPlu7Xl8mw2R1H1W7Ox0rv-LKWTeY9fVDW8179qVF9KmJ-buy_BX0Tuufr3D7eUC0chxveTSPhG8L6DZpg6CAVPZe_gc-/s1600/Single8.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><br />
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So, what I have learned this month is to put God first. Second, that in the past relationships, for the majority of them, I was the one to initiate or pursue the guy. Whether it was on-line dating and sending that first message, or sending a message elsewhere (like Facebook), I was usually the one to initiate conversation. What I have learned from this is that I won't be the dominate pursuer; he will have to initiate, making the effort, and being the pursuer. <i>"So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22 ESV "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV</i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzjCMwTDBepNhV_BuOtlcTtsdFgHD4Hn9IRsivp6U9vxeQXLJ-HXDh55TnnxEfYCEELSAvPpEJdWP7CJXJjVwuTieqn4vPrZwoZAwKHYwJr_H7E0Hbwj02vQSZ2I9ifGErgCz3XlWA2wr/s1600/419285_orig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzzjCMwTDBepNhV_BuOtlcTtsdFgHD4Hn9IRsivp6U9vxeQXLJ-HXDh55TnnxEfYCEELSAvPpEJdWP7CJXJjVwuTieqn4vPrZwoZAwKHYwJr_H7E0Hbwj02vQSZ2I9ifGErgCz3XlWA2wr/s1600/419285_orig.jpg" height="220" width="320" /></a></div>
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I have been tempted, in moments of weakness I have clicked on sites that promise to deliver you to that perfect partner. Further still, I go through answering questions in the hope that the one God has intended for me could be on the other side of the screen. Not that this hasn't happened, there are couples out there that have met on-line, married, and very happy. But, for me and my year without men, I nearly failed a crucial test (I think). Instead, realizing I was making a huge mistake and falling back into bad habits, I erased my profiles. It's almost like an addiction or a drug. You want that connection with someone, you want to find "the one." But, I've been looking in all the wrong places this entire time. God has told me that <i>He</i> is the unconditional love that I need and instead of seeking a physical man for my need for companionship and that connection, that I am to seek Him in all things. I had read a posting once that said a woman should be so involved with the Lord that a man will have to seek the Lord to find her. Every time I find myself thinking of a relationship, I need to condition myself to remember to think of God's word instead. That it is in His timing and in His way only that I will find what I am truly searching for (and the reason nothing in the past has worked). </div>
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<a href="http://joycemeyer.org/Articles/Devotional.aspx?sf6674831=1" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer Ministry - Daily Devotional (great read!)</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com161tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-55383221031083186852015-01-12T10:04:00.002-08:002015-01-12T10:08:11.542-08:00YEAR OF THANKS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjohT4vqE09W5jKvwxMb-qMzVSuLXxcs69ssYF8qesZvCoOujUGjgqnkX2X68PAjGJmtksWTKn6pdb2i64NSrSiRIu2My6TCrYmM0YPiQk_wdmHjHtdFYjFPTv01WoKzYFOCmSw7MTzznHi/s1600/download+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjohT4vqE09W5jKvwxMb-qMzVSuLXxcs69ssYF8qesZvCoOujUGjgqnkX2X68PAjGJmtksWTKn6pdb2i64NSrSiRIu2My6TCrYmM0YPiQk_wdmHjHtdFYjFPTv01WoKzYFOCmSw7MTzznHi/s1600/download+(1).jpg" /></a></div>
The past few years have been challenging to say the least. I've been through too much and I am declaring that 2015 will be my YEAR OF THANKS! I want to renew my relationship with God, learning His word, growing spiritually, and letting it all take root in my life! With the new year I had already challenged myself, that every morning when my alarm goes off to immediately open my Bible app and read the scripture for the day. Then, on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/joycemeyerministries?fref=nf" target="_blank">Joyce Meyer Ministries Facebook</a> page, they have been posting so many wonderful daily devotionals (which I have been reading). As well, they have issued different challenges, the #YEAROFTHANKS challenge (which I will be doing), and the 3030 challenge (I didn't sign-up for but, in essence I will be doing anyway).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMMySnuzOHl1rapZ5XXoDkCeNg-bTIQE51gu5zDHjNokgc5sH5-DNtnnGA6Kfqzk4evD24MskI8AE2BqVHMDzjVN0nIEu0PHYzgY_2ztcKa-Aj6p3cHNjH8Qi8ZszGu1FuYatHUAQ0GYPd/s1600/thankful-for-everything-i-have-grateful-quotes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMMySnuzOHl1rapZ5XXoDkCeNg-bTIQE51gu5zDHjNokgc5sH5-DNtnnGA6Kfqzk4evD24MskI8AE2BqVHMDzjVN0nIEu0PHYzgY_2ztcKa-Aj6p3cHNjH8Qi8ZszGu1FuYatHUAQ0GYPd/s1600/thankful-for-everything-i-have-grateful-quotes.jpg" height="210" width="320" /></a>For my Year of Thanks challenge I am going to post something I am thankful for in my life each month. This will help me in different ways. It will help me spiritually, it will also help me to overcome the fear of expressing what I am thankful for. In the past, when I have praised or shown appreciation for something in my life - to me - I felt that it was taken away from me. I know God does not want me to live in fear and if I continue to be afraid, then that negativity will consume my life. I want to be happy, God wants me to be happy, and I know this is the route to my happiness. This is the journey He wants me to take...</div>
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JANUARY</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjtZaBdvojQ3KBl8cpZNAcTvXhGOZoxNdKsmQOEh_p_d9i0Tpl4T997_B5Qq0YjZZA4yibNifobaJuRZFgdUTZz_ZdwySftxkwsXBGv-oG_6v4Briz0zn9EBZXeC_IVroJd6nAv4y-g3zP/s1600/399aff8d6c927ab447a900aade6e4e77.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjtZaBdvojQ3KBl8cpZNAcTvXhGOZoxNdKsmQOEh_p_d9i0Tpl4T997_B5Qq0YjZZA4yibNifobaJuRZFgdUTZz_ZdwySftxkwsXBGv-oG_6v4Briz0zn9EBZXeC_IVroJd6nAv4y-g3zP/s1600/399aff8d6c927ab447a900aade6e4e77.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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So, to start off my Year of Thanks Challenge, the first thing above all else that I am irrevocably thankful for is God. Without Him by my side, I don't know how I would have survived everything that I have. I <i>know</i> He was with me when I was in the hospital, I <i>know</i> He's been with me through the darkest of times, and He always will be. He has understood when I have been mad and He remains patiently by my side. <i>"Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV</i> </div>
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For the past couple of years I have sort of crept into this depression where I thought I wasn't getting "the good things in life" because, for some reason, God wasn't rewarding me. My entire mind-set was wrong and because I wasn't studying His word or working on our relationship, that depression fueled those delusional thought patterns. After losing so much and having to move back in with my parents, when I'm well into my 30's now, is rather depressing. However, my faith tells me that God has a plan and I should not seek worldly desires. What I want for my life isn't necessarily what God wants or has had planned. <i>"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 ESV</i></div>
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<i>I pray that God will continue to guide and teach me, that I continue to grow, and to honor Him. Through His timing, that I walk His chosen path for my life that He has blessed me with. I praise God for everything that He has blessed me with in my life so far and look forward to what He still has in store for my future. I pray for those less fortunate than I am, that He work in their lives, and that we all work together to glorify Him. Amen.</i></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-54384311919728055682014-12-29T15:35:00.001-08:002014-12-29T15:35:28.088-08:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #5<h2 style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
DECEMBER</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" height="244" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVu9Sbxub6rN_mlcLbrM693SkCg6meVZS9opmjgE8Ht8DFpzgqavuEvnxksz9OIznba5LJwYnVDeNN34idZqhBpbTc78hyphenhyphen6Wrp6jxyphB7qOX0d5JX1CAZPS4rrnf1QjBxCjzLUUFUoayh/s1600/Single1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVu9Sbxub6rN_mlcLbrM693SkCg6meVZS9opmjgE8Ht8DFpzgqavuEvnxksz9OIznba5LJwYnVDeNN34idZqhBpbTc78hyphenhyphen6Wrp6jxyphB7qOX0d5JX1CAZPS4rrnf1QjBxCjzLUUFUoayh/s1600/Single1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>The Holiday's can get complicated when you are single. People ask you where your ex is and you have to kindly inform them of the break-up, or some people have to endure the third-degree tactics of people grilling them about why they're single. I think at this stage in my life people don't ask or suggest anything to me, not that they ever really use to when I was younger either - I don't really know why that is. However, this Christmas was especially difficult because I was truly alone for the Holiday's. Christmas day I hibernated, I scrolled through endless Facebook feeds of happy families, and endured some Holiday movies. I did make the effort to meet-up with friends and go to family functions and I think it helped me keep what little sanity I have left. Something else that kept swimming around in the vast knowledge-pit of my mind was what a good friend once told me; It's okay to be depressed and to be sad, just don't <i>live</i> there. I'm really trying to make the conscious choice to challenge myself and condition my delusional thought patterns (Cognitive Behavioral Training, CBT) to make better choices, to snap myself out of thoughts that are dangerous to my psyche.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgEZl3IeOJ2uZGVvADxuFqZCaE5XoWSGWp-OX4_PLnyOi5UyjnPNbc85mWRQg0MgQ4SS3-ChtXBPJX0OcjGn7c7xOlah7iVTkdJS9ge7jzkpz1FN51VXcfwbOQjRadrrO0FNfd5nBrjndG/s1600/Single3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgEZl3IeOJ2uZGVvADxuFqZCaE5XoWSGWp-OX4_PLnyOi5UyjnPNbc85mWRQg0MgQ4SS3-ChtXBPJX0OcjGn7c7xOlah7iVTkdJS9ge7jzkpz1FN51VXcfwbOQjRadrrO0FNfd5nBrjndG/s1600/Single3.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #ea9999;"><i>"I want you to be free from anxieties... the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure our undivided devotion to the Lord." <a href="http://www.openbible.info/topics/being_single" target="_blank">1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">What does this tell me? It speaks that I should not be anxious about being single and I should not put any restraints on myself about what has happened in the past, or to worry about the future. I was reading a devotional from <i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/joycemeyerministries?ref=br_tf" target="_blank">Joyce Meyers</a></i> recently and it really spoke to me. <i>"How many of you know that God test you from time to time? Pass your test now. If you don't, you'll get to take it again."</i> This made me think, when I use to think that bad stuff kept happening to me as a punishment, NO - I haven't passed His test yet. I know my shortcomings, I know I can be a pushover and I know I have a hard time telling people no or whatever. Because I haven't learnt my lessons, I keep getting into the same relationships and they fail because I haven't passed the test. However, He also tells us not to dwell (because that will lead to those anxieties and restraints of the world) but to learn from our lessons and to move forward and "shake it off" <i><a href="http://jmm.co/1tqQOqs" target="_blank">Joyce Meyers Daily Devotion - It's time to shake it off!</a> </i>I need to switch my focus from obsessing over finding that man to grow old with, to enriching my soul with the word of God. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i>"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." <a href="http://www.openbible.info/topics/being_single" target="_blank">Isaiah 41:10</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;">I was watching some program the other day I'm not sure if it was Joyce Meyers or Joel Osteen - have you ever listened to a message and you know the Spirit is telling you something completely different? I can't recall the Ministries exact message, but I know the message I received. It was that God has known me before I even knew myself. He has known all the hardships and struggles that I have face and that I will continue to face. Yet, He has entrusted me with this life. He is precious to me that He believes in me and that should be sufficient, more than sufficient, it should be all that I need! His love is all the love that I should need, I shouldn't need the <i>love</i> of another to feel complete. His love will sustain, His love is enough, and His love will see me through. I will grow old in His eyes and receive the deserving love of my lifetime through Him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #ea9999;"><i>"And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord." <a href="http://www.openbible.info/topics/being_single" target="_blank">Hosea 2:19-20</a></i></span></div>
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Affirmation Station:</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhWzRrVQCUvdpJLCo4soWFkTEdseC_eVRXqFguLsAYyNDI1Ex1mDgqvTlZeELyvHbp9vbhAaeOFKxZEXyvRJ20NaDB3o0qyr-78sgdX61_RlT5RMuGMRuRbBcIFkcJXM7IE1Rf6UfOtFGT/s1600/Single4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhWzRrVQCUvdpJLCo4soWFkTEdseC_eVRXqFguLsAYyNDI1Ex1mDgqvTlZeELyvHbp9vbhAaeOFKxZEXyvRJ20NaDB3o0qyr-78sgdX61_RlT5RMuGMRuRbBcIFkcJXM7IE1Rf6UfOtFGT/s1600/Single4.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-58095842226995763062014-12-29T14:29:00.001-08:002014-12-29T14:30:30.741-08:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" height="153" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #e69138;">NOVEMBER</span></h2>
<span style="color: #f6b26b;">Leading into November I buckled down and along with other generous souls, we started the tedious editing process. This kept me too busy to worry about that prickling <i>need</i> to have <i>someone</i> in my life. I stopped focusing on other stressors; I have this ability to put on horse-blinders sometimes, which really helps me to stay focused on tasks. It was really exciting for me this time around too that I booked and scheduled a cover reveal and a book tour. I knew I needed to focus on positives and not let my mind wander to negatives. I feel that my brain does this on its own and I really have to work hard in focusing on those positive things in my life, or else I get totally sucked up in to that depressive state of what I've lost instead of what I've survived, achieved, and continue to work hard to pursue. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #ffe599;">November is all about Thanksgiving, even though I don't have my own family, I found thanks in what I am blessed with. I have a roof over my head, food in my belly, loving and supportive parents, a super-sister and two wonderful nieces, along with a career that I have been working on and building from scratch, I am also very blessed that my immediate family is so supportive but, that I also have other family members that are so supportive. Now that I have released my second book, the book tour is in early December and then I'm going to dive right back into the third book, so that will keep my mind busy. Also, I've decided that I have really botched this dating thing up, so I read something a while back and decided to just give it to God, and I questioned myself as to why I was obsessing over finding that right person. Instead, I decided that it is in His hands. Now, I tell people that I am not ready for a relationship, because I'm not. I feel God is still molding me and that when I'm ready He'll send me who He intends for me to spend the rest of my life with. I've accepted this and expect it; it's why I now say that for me to <i>even consider</i> a relationship he will have to be <i>perfect.</i> Which for me in my brain right now doesn't exist, so if a guy is <i>perfect</i> it only makes sense that he was sent from God. I would like to say that's when I will open my heart but I know myself well enough to know that my heart is always open - I would be fighting with myself and wasting too much energy and time to try to change my core characteristics of opening my heart and loving, that's just who I am! I'm just learning to respect myself more and that I don't <i>need</i> a man, that when he comes into my life it will be to share life together. I put it this way to my brain: I've gambled so much on love and have lost, I'm not gambling anymore - if I don't like something, I'm out! *wink* </span><br />
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Links</h3>
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This link helped me to remember why dating sucks!<br />
<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/declancashin/romance-is-dead-and-love-is-a-lie?bffbuk" target="_blank">23 Excruciating Tinder Exchanges</a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-22725651948996621042014-12-19T04:00:00.000-08:002014-12-19T04:00:07.163-08:00DEJA VU BLOGFEST<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-BOyJNNhmI7DbplH_QD6BPKmxK69ECbky1A5A0RkJKDDX0kdDL9E0Dqyo9neaVhzrJD2Omg4RbaqhsUmjilEmJBXFoZ8XwVZvmU3JJu8VcHVtxNrU0tllkMUSnN4QDdt4AnmQVJz5tUu_/s1600/deja_vu_2014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="http://www.dlhammons.com/2014/10/the-deja-vu-blogfest-2014.html" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-BOyJNNhmI7DbplH_QD6BPKmxK69ECbky1A5A0RkJKDDX0kdDL9E0Dqyo9neaVhzrJD2Omg4RbaqhsUmjilEmJBXFoZ8XwVZvmU3JJu8VcHVtxNrU0tllkMUSnN4QDdt4AnmQVJz5tUu_/s1600/deja_vu_2014.jpg" height="320" title="" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.dlhammons.com/2014/10/the-deja-vu-blogfest-2014.html" target="_blank">The Day of the Do Over Link</a></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0_ZvZmJ9IbebQ5S1AX0_iGXJV68UUBPeCf8_AGE93T-Bjmvn1UaG49BDa4CekExpup4kUYsZntpqQAayjKanAzuCGkHFIgjDJ9yKUpPJAzUw5hzyGouUkPAKCWr7ufPnqYZv0NImBzxF/s1600/10676162_803010083078700_7927552128798184660_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0_ZvZmJ9IbebQ5S1AX0_iGXJV68UUBPeCf8_AGE93T-Bjmvn1UaG49BDa4CekExpup4kUYsZntpqQAayjKanAzuCGkHFIgjDJ9yKUpPJAzUw5hzyGouUkPAKCWr7ufPnqYZv0NImBzxF/s1600/10676162_803010083078700_7927552128798184660_n.jpg" height="320" width="170" /></a>While the majority of people enjoy the holiday's with their loved ones, parents watching the enjoyment of their children on the anticipated morning, some have a more bleak day ahead of them. Me, I'll be sleeping in, hiding under my covers and wishing the day away. I've seen post after post of friends enjoying decorating for their holiday season, while I haven't decorated at all. I know it's a choice, I could push myself and dig through boxes to find my Christmas decorations. The only obstacle is dealing with items that I can't bring myself to deal with yet. It's been over a year, I thought I would be able to figure out what to do by now; where to put things and how to handle my emotions. The truth is, I'm not. Everyone handles grief differently and there isn't a day that goes by when the thought of my son doesn't take my breath away and the sadness expands with a deep burning sensation within my chest. However, I know I'm not alone. The Holiday's can be difficult for a lot of people. Each day there is a new obstacle, a new challenge, and more emotions I have to try to deal with. Some days are better than other too. The Holiday's seem to increase the hardships to a maximum level. So, in an attempt to try to work through these times, I took to the internet to try to research how to make it through the season and keep what little sanity I have left.<br />
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Top Tips to Surviving the Holidays</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23afTxPESIjj7oVTvaaoQ15Gc_pTUQWUunG8Mmc3r8nGPvCQ6BfYCsbNR42B15PNYJlIF5TcPjCNh53PYmHDCrBZFRHJgpBip9GU1_WG3_WEdqnT-QbDmyIfAw49Pv7zwJjdTr1LcTrPR/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23afTxPESIjj7oVTvaaoQ15Gc_pTUQWUunG8Mmc3r8nGPvCQ6BfYCsbNR42B15PNYJlIF5TcPjCNh53PYmHDCrBZFRHJgpBip9GU1_WG3_WEdqnT-QbDmyIfAw49Pv7zwJjdTr1LcTrPR/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" /></a><u>Honor Them</u> - for those that left us too soon, find a way that you can honor them. Many people believe that those that have passed know how we honor them here in the present and they enjoy it. We decorate my sons grave site; we just went today! My sister made my son an adorable Christmas tree, while my parents bought him items too, and we went together to honor him and make him a part of our life. While other parents are buying their children toys and other goodies, I bought my son items for his grave site. I'm starting to understand though, it's still an action; whether buying him a gift he could have enjoyed in his physical form, or enjoy in his spiritual state, either way I made the effort, and it did feel good to be doing something for him. While last year my sister honored my son, her nephew's passing by having a star named after him, and for Christmas she gave remembrance items, as well as did my parents and sister have presents from my son; which was hard but, I cherish them for their thoughts and efforts.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHS6etodl3pfGk7I1OQprSTyVKul2wOniM9bdXaEvr3XpimR-G431GnuJ0Y9AM2ERfiDiAj5GEHo96AWqxmgG0Z_5h5vEn3ZGSEQQJr0F8BQYEfiiICXV9P4gEHHJGo9_nG6KZcp_hJTnk/s1600/reasoncandycanebb350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHS6etodl3pfGk7I1OQprSTyVKul2wOniM9bdXaEvr3XpimR-G431GnuJ0Y9AM2ERfiDiAj5GEHo96AWqxmgG0Z_5h5vEn3ZGSEQQJr0F8BQYEfiiICXV9P4gEHHJGo9_nG6KZcp_hJTnk/s1600/reasoncandycanebb350.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<u>Daily Reminders</u> - through sites such as <a href="http://www.griefshare.org/holidays" target="_blank">Grief Share</a>, you can sign up for daily e-mails to help you through the tougher times. Another great suggestion through <a href="http://www.griefshare.org/holidays/reason" target="_blank">Grief Share (Reasons)</a> is to focus on the reason for the season (in my case, I celebrate Christmas, so it's all about Christ). So, this season I am going to focus on the <i>reason for the season</i>. Where the article is about how Jesus "came to end all suffering" although, as a person suffering, this isn't that comforting; it's actually more upsetting to think there is still so much suffering left int he world. However, <i>"The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly"</i> John 10:10. What this says to me is that we need to find our happy; find something each day to laugh and to be thankful for - God wants us to be happy.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjacVIK05iFw8ruYQnQgp2jUGsDcGpk2HPzU40B-cIbSkjgALoT03_a1cd06F0JLHUmWy13ygNJws3icTEj8rj2Yz5dWTgGeCz5T_A4Rle6HQOymS_9WFZs50qEhUWUdshJWdvQoGNqkXYS/s1600/best-friend-quotes-113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjacVIK05iFw8ruYQnQgp2jUGsDcGpk2HPzU40B-cIbSkjgALoT03_a1cd06F0JLHUmWy13ygNJws3icTEj8rj2Yz5dWTgGeCz5T_A4Rle6HQOymS_9WFZs50qEhUWUdshJWdvQoGNqkXYS/s1600/best-friend-quotes-113.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<u>Get Help</u> - something I have a hard time with is asking for help. Through <a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-12-2012/death-loss-christmas-holidays-goyer.html" target="_blank">AARP</a> (American Association of Retired Persons), they suggest leaning on your friends and family. Talk with them about what you are going through and have someone, a "buddy" to go with you places that can help you through. However, it has been my experience that after your loved one passes (and maybe it's just because it was my son, and a child's death is difficult for anyone to talk about) but, people just don't seem to talk about it. Maybe partially because they don't want to upset me or maybe because they don't want to be upset themselves. Then again, many people (myself included) aren't well equipped to comfort those that are suffering inside. But, I can't tell you how elated I feel inside when someone does say my son's name or talks about them. So, don't be afraid to talk about the deceased. What doesn't help, when I'm feeling low, is the comment "he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad" or something along those lines. He's not here. Instead, try bringing up happy holiday memories that involve the deceased, or suggest how you could honor their memories instead. Believe me, the person grieving is going through a hard enough time, they don't need to be scolded.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxYS1L2Fowf_DOMxqtd0qRxINSp7K4bZDesw8CK1f0VropUw7ORx7fpiB4Iey2_bbNn-uuDBlpRsUj-IFp65YEymMYXn4PH4RwBgDTpWK3-qCK0ks6mf7rE0oIovP0rG6UVz1Bi6sV8zsz/s1600/Psalm_147_3_by_mawkus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxYS1L2Fowf_DOMxqtd0qRxINSp7K4bZDesw8CK1f0VropUw7ORx7fpiB4Iey2_bbNn-uuDBlpRsUj-IFp65YEymMYXn4PH4RwBgDTpWK3-qCK0ks6mf7rE0oIovP0rG6UVz1Bi6sV8zsz/s1600/Psalm_147_3_by_mawkus.jpg" height="170" width="200" /></a></div>
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<u>Self-Love</u> - forgive yourself and give yourself the time and energies to deal with your feelings. Another thing I have to work on. First, I never knew learning to love myself was going to be so difficult. Second, that I have a hard time dealing with my feelings. I let them well-up until I just burst and can't hold it in anymore. I shared a post I read the other day that stated "I'm exhausted from being stronger than I am" (or something like that). On the <a href="http://handtohold.org/resources/helpful-articles/six-tips-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/" target="_blank">Hand to Hold</a> site they suggest to "Be Generous with Others [and] Yourself". Share your talents and share with others because it makes us feel good (basically). "Expect that you will feel sad sometimes. Or angry. Or alone. These are all appropriate feelings and are an acknowledgement of the intense love you hold for your child" or your loved one that has passed.</div>
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Thorn Pathways</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZDtkP-qpfrhyn4Hcq_PTrMrGPdLDWtJWm1SagoAVy3ro-LJvorndTQrrwZsjVwweuVyZhrCb8WIquvOB918yBQb0DQrnfMY3e7-pb6vEFEk6rQy7DwYAVq_5pbVOTHWgTRivZGXa0zD0Z/s1600/sufferingisgrace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZDtkP-qpfrhyn4Hcq_PTrMrGPdLDWtJWm1SagoAVy3ro-LJvorndTQrrwZsjVwweuVyZhrCb8WIquvOB918yBQb0DQrnfMY3e7-pb6vEFEk6rQy7DwYAVq_5pbVOTHWgTRivZGXa0zD0Z/s1600/sufferingisgrace.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
When looking up the scriptures in the <a href="http://m.godvine.com/read/woman-who-lost-everything-learns-to-be-thankful-fb-gv-746.html" target="_blank">Godvine</a> fictional story titled <i>Thanksgiving Thorns</i>, I came across <i>Suffering is a great grace...</i> quote from St. Faustina. Remember the pain that you feel is a direct result of how deeply your love for the deceased. In <i>Thanksgiving Thorns</i>, it is about a flower shop associate and her faith in God and how we should be thankful for the thorns in our life. I didn't particularly care for the story, however I can appreciate the message. Even though we are deeply suffering, we shouldn't forget that He is still here for us. It seems like He's not, which I have felt but, suffering means so much more than what we are experiencing. God understand how mad we are at Him, yet He still remains. When I read scripture about how He knows all our days before we are even born and has given us what we need for this life, sometimes I feel harsh against this, as if I'm being punished. However, as my mother explained to me years ago that it's not a punishment at all. That He thinks so highly of us that He has given us the hardest of situations (Thanks!); it's about perspective. It seems absurd to say that any death is for our benefit but, as St. Faustina suggests through our suffering are still gifts we need to be thankful for.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg41USSj7Ag_7x4na_kDqL7VzcKQA5zElRZQR5RISd2pEtwtzOeuAAibRLUeU3wWTLXv3v3SjB_lM2vC_g41C7is8t-R84sqx_enYb3TIpmFBVEFZN18Ls7vkATKl8CPPMycRaWPMK73SDe/s1600/canvasdesign_8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg41USSj7Ag_7x4na_kDqL7VzcKQA5zElRZQR5RISd2pEtwtzOeuAAibRLUeU3wWTLXv3v3SjB_lM2vC_g41C7is8t-R84sqx_enYb3TIpmFBVEFZN18Ls7vkATKl8CPPMycRaWPMK73SDe/s1600/canvasdesign_8.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>So, now what? Well, find some funny videos on YouTube, laughing helps our brains in more beneficial ways. I read once how it's okay to visit being depressed and sad, just don't live there. Help yourself claw out of the darkness with the light of laughter. The next step is up to you! I know this year I haven't decorated <b><i>at all</i> </b>because it's so upsetting, it would mean having to go through my sons items that I have in the same area that I haven't wanted to deal with yet. I've been contemplating on recruiting someone to help me with this, I know this would help me but, everyone's so busy. I need to just get-to-it, if it gets too hard then I can grab the box of tissues and work through those feelings too. I know it's much easier said than done though, so I'll continue to just take one day at a time.<br />
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<b>How do you honor your deceased loved ones during the Holidays?</b></div>
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<b>Comment with your tips and suggestions!</b></div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/12-Days-of-Deals/b/?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1417828131253&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&node=5550343011&tag=amazoncomau01-20&linkId=6WEFYQY4WHYVUJM3" target="_blank">Shop Amazon 12 Days of Deals</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=amazoncomau01-20&l=pf4&o=1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></div>
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Links</h3>
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<a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-12-2012/death-loss-christmas-holidays-goyer.html" target="_blank">AARP - Dealing With Grief During the Holidays Season</a></div>
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<a href="http://m.godvine.com/read/woman-who-lost-everything-learns-to-be-thankful-fb-gv-746.html" target="_blank">Godvine - Woman Who Lost Everything Learns to be Thankful for Life's Thorns</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.griefshare.org/holidays" target="_blank">Grief Share - Surviving the Holidays</a></div>
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<a href="http://handtohold.org/resources/helpful-articles/six-tips-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/" target="_blank">Hand to Hold - Six Tips to Cope with Grief During the Holidays</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-mebane/6-steps-to-survive-the-holiday-season-after-loss_b_6269858.html" target="_blank">Huff Post Women - 6 Steps to Survive the Holidays</a><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-83704999656518374582014-12-07T20:07:00.000-08:002014-12-07T20:07:07.057-08:00Grief and the Holidays<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0_ZvZmJ9IbebQ5S1AX0_iGXJV68UUBPeCf8_AGE93T-Bjmvn1UaG49BDa4CekExpup4kUYsZntpqQAayjKanAzuCGkHFIgjDJ9yKUpPJAzUw5hzyGouUkPAKCWr7ufPnqYZv0NImBzxF/s1600/10676162_803010083078700_7927552128798184660_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0_ZvZmJ9IbebQ5S1AX0_iGXJV68UUBPeCf8_AGE93T-Bjmvn1UaG49BDa4CekExpup4kUYsZntpqQAayjKanAzuCGkHFIgjDJ9yKUpPJAzUw5hzyGouUkPAKCWr7ufPnqYZv0NImBzxF/s1600/10676162_803010083078700_7927552128798184660_n.jpg" height="320" width="170" /></a>While the majority of people enjoy the holiday's with their loved ones, parents watching the enjoyment of their children on the anticipated morning, some have a more bleak day ahead of them. Me, I'll be sleeping in, hiding under my covers and wishing the day away. I've seen post after post of friends enjoying decorating for their holiday season, while I haven't decorated at all. I know it's a choice, I could push myself and dig through boxes to find my Christmas decorations. The only obstacle is dealing with items that I can't bring myself to deal with yet. It's been over a year, I thought I would be able to figure out what to do by now; where to put things and how to handle my emotions. The truth is, I'm not. Everyone handles grief differently and there isn't a day that goes by when the thought of my son doesn't take my breath away and the sadness expands with a deep burning sensation within my chest. However, I know I'm not alone. The Holiday's can be difficult for a lot of people. Each day there is a new obstacle, a new challenge, and more emotions I have to try to deal with. Some days are better than other too. The Holiday's seem to increase the hardships to a maximum level. So, in an attempt to try to work through these times, I took to the internet to try to research how to make it through the season and keep what little sanity I have left.<br />
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Top Tips to Surviving the Holidays</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23afTxPESIjj7oVTvaaoQ15Gc_pTUQWUunG8Mmc3r8nGPvCQ6BfYCsbNR42B15PNYJlIF5TcPjCNh53PYmHDCrBZFRHJgpBip9GU1_WG3_WEdqnT-QbDmyIfAw49Pv7zwJjdTr1LcTrPR/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg23afTxPESIjj7oVTvaaoQ15Gc_pTUQWUunG8Mmc3r8nGPvCQ6BfYCsbNR42B15PNYJlIF5TcPjCNh53PYmHDCrBZFRHJgpBip9GU1_WG3_WEdqnT-QbDmyIfAw49Pv7zwJjdTr1LcTrPR/s1600/photo+(1).JPG" /></a><u>Honor Them</u> - for those that left us too soon, find a way that you can honor them. Many people believe that those that have passed know how we honor them here in the present and they enjoy it. We decorate my sons grave site; we just went today! My sister made my son an adorable Christmas tree, while my parents bought him items too, and we went together to honor him and make him a part of our life. While other parents are buying their children toys and other goodies, I bought my son items for his grave site. I'm starting to understand though, it's still an action; whether buying him a gift he could have enjoyed in his physical form, or enjoy in his spiritual state, either way I made the effort, and it did feel good to be doing something for him. While last year my sister honored my son, her nephew's passing by having a star named after him, and for Christmas she gave remembrance items, as well as did my parents and sister have presents from my son; which was hard but, I cherish them for their thoughts and efforts.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHS6etodl3pfGk7I1OQprSTyVKul2wOniM9bdXaEvr3XpimR-G431GnuJ0Y9AM2ERfiDiAj5GEHo96AWqxmgG0Z_5h5vEn3ZGSEQQJr0F8BQYEfiiICXV9P4gEHHJGo9_nG6KZcp_hJTnk/s1600/reasoncandycanebb350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHS6etodl3pfGk7I1OQprSTyVKul2wOniM9bdXaEvr3XpimR-G431GnuJ0Y9AM2ERfiDiAj5GEHo96AWqxmgG0Z_5h5vEn3ZGSEQQJr0F8BQYEfiiICXV9P4gEHHJGo9_nG6KZcp_hJTnk/s1600/reasoncandycanebb350.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<u>Daily Reminders</u> - through sites such as <a href="http://www.griefshare.org/holidays" target="_blank">Grief Share</a>, you can sign up for daily e-mails to help you through the tougher times. Another great suggestion through <a href="http://www.griefshare.org/holidays/reason" target="_blank">Grief Share (Reasons)</a> is to focus on the reason for the season (in my case, I celebrate Christmas, so it's all about Christ). So, this season I am going to focus on the <i>reason for the season</i>. Where the article is about how Jesus "came to end all suffering" although, as a person suffering, this isn't that comforting; it's actually more upsetting to think there is still so much suffering left int he world. However, <i>"The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly"</i> John 10:10. What this says to me is that we need to find our happy; find something each day to laugh and to be thankful for - God wants us to be happy.</div>
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<u>Get Help</u> - something I have a hard time with is asking for help. Through <a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-12-2012/death-loss-christmas-holidays-goyer.html" target="_blank">AARP</a> (American Association of Retired Persons), they suggest leaning on your friends and family. Talk with them about what you are going through and have someone, a "buddy" to go with you places that can help you through. However, it has been my experience that after your loved one passes (and maybe it's just because it was my son, and a child's death is difficult for anyone to talk about) but, people just don't seem to talk about it. Maybe partially because they don't want to upset me or maybe because they don't want to be upset themselves. Then again, many people (myself included) aren't well equipped to comfort those that are suffering inside. But, I can't tell you how elated I feel inside when someone does say my son's name or talks about them. So, don't be afraid to talk about the deceased. What doesn't help, when I'm feeling low, is the comment "he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad" or something along those lines. He's not here. Instead, try bringing up happy holiday memories that involve the deceased, or suggest how you could honor their memories instead. Believe me, the person grieving is going through a hard enough time, they don't need to be scolded.</div>
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<u>Self-Love</u> - forgive yourself and give yourself the time and energies to deal with your feelings. Another thing I have to work on. First, I never knew learning to love myself was going to be so difficult. Second, that I have a hard time dealing with my feelings. I let them well-up until I just burst and can't hold it in anymore. I shared a post I read the other day that stated "I'm exhausted from being stronger than I am" (or something like that). On the <a href="http://handtohold.org/resources/helpful-articles/six-tips-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/" target="_blank">Hand to Hold</a> site they suggest to "Be Generous with Others [and] Yourself". Share your talents and share with others because it makes us feel good (basically). "Expect that you will feel sad sometimes. Or angry. Or alone. These are all appropriate feelings and are an acknowledgement of the intense love you hold for your child" or your loved one that has passed.</div>
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Thorn Pathways</h2>
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When looking up the scriptures in the <a href="http://m.godvine.com/read/woman-who-lost-everything-learns-to-be-thankful-fb-gv-746.html" target="_blank">Godvine</a> fictional story titled <i>Thanksgiving Thorns</i>, I came across <i>Suffering is a great grace...</i> quote from St. Faustina. Remember the pain that you feel is a direct result of how deeply your love for the deceased. In <i>Thanksgiving Thorns</i>, it is about a flower shop associate and her faith in God and how we should be thankful for the thorns in our life. I didn't particularly care for the story, however I can appreciate the message. Even though we are deeply suffering, we shouldn't forget that He is still here for us. It seems like He's not, which I have felt but, suffering means so much more than what we are experiencing. God understand how mad we are at Him, yet He still remains. When I read scripture about how He knows all our days before we are even born and has given us what we need for this life, sometimes I feel harsh against this, as if I'm being punished. However, as my mother explained to me years ago that it's not a punishment at all. That He thinks so highly of us that He has given us the hardest of situations (Thanks!); it's about perspective. It seems absurd to say that any death is for our benefit but, as St. Faustina suggests through our suffering are still gifts we need to be thankful for.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg41USSj7Ag_7x4na_kDqL7VzcKQA5zElRZQR5RISd2pEtwtzOeuAAibRLUeU3wWTLXv3v3SjB_lM2vC_g41C7is8t-R84sqx_enYb3TIpmFBVEFZN18Ls7vkATKl8CPPMycRaWPMK73SDe/s1600/canvasdesign_8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg41USSj7Ag_7x4na_kDqL7VzcKQA5zElRZQR5RISd2pEtwtzOeuAAibRLUeU3wWTLXv3v3SjB_lM2vC_g41C7is8t-R84sqx_enYb3TIpmFBVEFZN18Ls7vkATKl8CPPMycRaWPMK73SDe/s1600/canvasdesign_8.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>So, now what? Well, find some funny videos on YouTube, laughing helps our brains in more beneficial ways. I read once how it's okay to visit being depressed and sad, just don't live there. Help yourself claw out of the darkness with the light of laughter. The next step is up to you! I know this year I haven't decorated <b><i>at all</i> </b>because it's so upsetting, it would mean having to go through my sons items that I have in the same area that I haven't wanted to deal with yet. I've been contemplating on recruiting someone to help me with this, I know this would help me but, everyone's so busy. I need to just get-to-it, if it gets too hard then I can grab the box of tissues and work through those feelings too. I know it's much easier said than done though, so I'll continue to just take one day at a time.<br />
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<b>How do you honor your deceased loved ones during the Holidays?</b></div>
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<b>Comment with your tips and suggestions!</b></div>
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Links</h3>
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<a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-12-2012/death-loss-christmas-holidays-goyer.html" target="_blank">AARP - Dealing With Grief During the Holidays Season</a></div>
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<a href="http://m.godvine.com/read/woman-who-lost-everything-learns-to-be-thankful-fb-gv-746.html" target="_blank">Godvine - Woman Who Lost Everything Learns to be Thankful for Life's Thorns</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.griefshare.org/holidays" target="_blank">Grief Share - Surviving the Holidays</a></div>
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<a href="http://handtohold.org/resources/helpful-articles/six-tips-to-cope-with-grief-during-the-holidays/" target="_blank">Hand to Hold - Six Tips to Cope with Grief During the Holidays</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/donna-mebane/6-steps-to-survive-the-holiday-season-after-loss_b_6269858.html" target="_blank">Huff Post Women - 6 Steps to Survive the Holidays</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-90612784707993153712014-12-03T17:25:00.003-08:002014-12-03T17:25:49.668-08:00How Pain Affects the Body<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Head to Toe - This Pain Has To Go!</h2>
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If you are like me and deal with daily chronic pain, then you know the affects on your body. But, in reality you might not because our brain processes things differently. All we know sometimes, is that we feel or are experiencing some form of discomfort or pain. Especially when it's all-the-time, it's torture! Then, our brains have to combat ways to evolve in a sense. Our brains either let the pain rule and then we're unable to be productive (which, do we really have control over?) or we try to occupy ourselves in a way to <i>ignore</i> the pain (I do this all the time). The only problem I've found with this technique is that for the break-through pain (severe) when it hits, it <i>really</i> hits and I'm unable to do much of anything. My brain is on over-load trying to deal with the pain. I've also read that if pain is not dealt with over time, it will affect your heart.</div>
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Literally, pain affects our bodies from our head to our toes. From how our body reacts and communicates pain to the results afterward. The results can be in the form of tension pains (such as neck pain, headaches, and so forth) because the constant pain sensors trigger tension. As such, this same concept will also trigger depression. As a person who deals with depression, I can tell you first-hand that it is a vicious cycle. If I'm depressed, the more I am upset or stressed, the more the receptors are communicating and the more I experience pain. Part of the vicious cycle we face is also the ability to take care of ourselves (how we need to); this includes exercise and socializing. When a person is depressed and dealing with daily chronic pain, they have a hard enough time moving, let alone considering exercise or being around people that don't understand your struggles. Just remember, you can't judge someone if you haven't experience what they have. We're all different and experience things differently. <a href="http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20489189_6,00.html" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank">12 Nice Things You Can Do for Someone in Pain</a><a href="http://www.healthline.com/health-news/ms-12-things-not-to-say-022814#3" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank">12 Things You Should Never Say to Someone with a Chronic Health Condition</a> <a href="http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/" target="_blank">The Spoon Theory</a></div>
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Links</h3>
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<a href="http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/stress-body.aspx" target="_blank">American Psychological Association - Stress Effects on the Body</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsweek/Depression_and_pain.htm" target="_blank">Harvard Health Publications - Depression and pain</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/guide/understanding-pain-management-chronic-pain" target="_blank">WebMD - Understanding Chronic Pain</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-27371522725731939972014-11-29T16:45:00.002-08:002014-11-30T07:28:49.446-08:00What Would You Tell Your Younger Self?<h2 style="text-align: center;">
What Are The 10 Things You Would Tell Your Younger Self?</h2>
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There have always been certain things that, if given the chance to tell my younger self, I would definitely share some well-earned knowledge. However, it was more difficult than I originally thought to come up with ten things. I've experienced a lot in my life and I wouldn't necessarily want to change those events because it's made me who I am today. However, if given that miraculous chance - I would definitely whisper quite a few things into my ear. The tricky part actually is, would I actually listen to my older self? I'm so darn stubborn that in itself would be the crux in the entire situation. I also wonder how my life could possibly be different if I did follow my own advice... provided by bullet-points, here are the ten things I would definitely tell my younger self.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MY YOUNGER SELF</td></tr>
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<li><span style="color: #990000;">FAT DOESN'T DISAPPEAR</span> <span style="color: #cc0000;">- I actually just read recently how the fat in our bodies contracts and expands. It is why when we lose weight it is more easily re-gained. I would want to tell myself when I was in my early twenties to continue to care for my body. I had worked so hard to lose the weight I had carried before. After I had my son and my life drastically changed, I was dealing with daily chronic pain (I still do) and I totally dropped the ball with physical therapy (I didn't make time fore myself). I should have fought for that more, I would tell myself that I need to fight for my health, go to physical therapy and have a plan to continue to care for my body with what works for me. Whether it be a modified plan for exercises, yoga, whatever! At least I would have that knowledge and would have a plan that I could utilize and have some comfort in. But, I would definitely tell myself to INVEST that time and effort!</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #b45f06;">FAIRY TALES ARE FICTION</span> <span style="color: #e69138;">- There's no such thing as "Happily Ever After". I grew up watching Disney movies and have always dreamed of that one man that is my soul mate that would save me. I would tell my younger self that the only person that can <i>save me</i> is myself. If you put stock in others to <i>save you</i> then you'll be disappointed - every time. I keep wondering if I should tell my younger self how disappointing that department has actually been? But, I wold definitely tell myself that kind of love is fiction, it's not necessarily not real but, I should focus more on myself. I guess I would tell my younger self how my past relationships have ended. It would definitely change my outcome now! I know if I told my younger self that the man I married would end up cheating on me and everything else, I wouldn't even have gone down that road. So it would totally change everything! It makes me wonder how different my life would be now.</span> </li>
<li><span style="color: #bf9000;">BE SELFISH</span> <span style="color: #ffd966;">- Make choices in your life for yourself, not what other people want. If you want a wedding, have a wedding, don't accept anything less. I am stubborn, so to a degree I do what I want but, there is a side of me that if I love someone I would do whatever they wanted. Because I loved them I wanted to appease them, even if it went against what I truly wanted. Don't fear what other's will think of you or that they'll think any less or love you less - if they do that's their fault - if they don't like it, don't let the door hit them on the way out.This could have saved me so much stress and anxiety and would definitely change everything. Never compromise yourself or what you want out of life. I do believe in compromise in relationships but, don't sacrifice yourself or who you are. It's been my experience the other person won't make those changes for you... so, why change for them?</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #38761d;">STAND UP FOR YOURSELF</span> <span style="color: #b6d7a8;">- I never really spoke up for myself until I had my son and had no other choice but to be an advocate for him. Just brush it away too when people think you are being a bitch for speaking your mind, if they think that then you need to reevaluate that relationship too! I would tell my younger self to stop thinking that the world will end if you upset others - it won't! You have to have respect for yourself or others won't respect you either. Your needs should be more important to you than what other's think of you.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #134f5c;">SAVE MONEY</span> <span style="color: #a2c4c9;">- Things will inevitably happen, if you aren't able to save money then you need to look at your career. I would tell my younger self to go for a career where you could make more money. Although, I believe I worked with special needs students to prepare me to care for my special needs son, however if events changed and my life altered because of those changes, I would definitely want to be more financially secure. I would definitely tell my younger self to take more care with my credit and to make more of an effort in that area. This will be important to have the security that I wish I had now.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #0b5394;">WRITE</span> <span style="color: #cfe2f3;">- My mom always use to tell me that I should write, even when I was younger. So, I would tell my younger self to listen to our mother's advice and write. Get involved in the writing field and pursue that career, go to college for writing, and really invest yourself. I'm just getting started in the Self-Publishing and Indie field, I often wonder where I would be if I had jumped in much earlier when I should have. I remember when I first went to Community College after I graduated from High School and ended up dropping out because I didn't want to waste my parent's money, because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I would tell that younger self to take those classes and pursue writing, it's where you will flourish.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75;">COMFORT EATING</span> <span style="color: #b4a7d6;">- Don't do it! Along with telling myself to respect my body and continue to take care of it, when I was in my early twenties I read every food label and was much better about caring what I put in my body. I would tell myself to continue that, while it may taste good and send those chemicals in my brain the sensation of feeling better, that in reality I will feel much worse when I'm feeling depressed about gaining weight and not being able to fit in those clothes that I love so much. Respect yourself and your body! I would also whisper in my ear to pay more attention to the chemicals on the labels - to care more about the poison going in and what possible long-term effects that it can have.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #741b47;">INVEST IN FRIENDSHIPS</span> <span style="color: #c27ba0;">- Make more time for the people in your life that make time for you. If people can't make time for you, then it should tell you that they don't want to be with you. When I was married this happened with my own husband, he couldn't make time for me, that should have been a <i>huge</i> red flag. I would tell my younger self, before you sacrifice your friendships for your relationships, why? You should not sacrifice them! Go out with your friends and do you. If the person you're with is jealous or is manipulative, then that's another huge red flag - of their own guilty conscious. Don't ruin your friendships with other people to appease your partner - NEVER!</span></li>
<li><span style="color: magenta;">DON'T STOP COORDINATING</span> <span style="color: #f4cccc;">- You have this insane ability to pull-it-together - don't ever stop! I would tell my younger self to continue to coordinate Cousin's Night, it's very important! It saddens me now that we don't get together as much as we should, so I would definitely tell my younger self to keep up that tradition at all costs. You know your persistence pays off *wink*</span></li>
<li><span style="color: red;">YOU ARE WORTH IT!!</span> <span style="color: red;">If you think you are not, then it's toxic and leave - immediately! Most importantly - LOVE YOURSELF!!</span></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-pf2ETI3bNfp3Am2U2rlgi2OpXXDWHc2-9Bvvrn3Svry1VTYYM8rryLEjWDWaKcPbugwKPzfVB381tHhuXvIDzSWSV8WJ7ndH_Tj8XjdTBxasHvS5hRNkqiZwNzbRC_3H3Db4KAHCLqh1/s1600/Khloe-Kardashian-Love-Yourself-and-Be-Happy-Quotes-6-580x580.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-pf2ETI3bNfp3Am2U2rlgi2OpXXDWHc2-9Bvvrn3Svry1VTYYM8rryLEjWDWaKcPbugwKPzfVB381tHhuXvIDzSWSV8WJ7ndH_Tj8XjdTBxasHvS5hRNkqiZwNzbRC_3H3Db4KAHCLqh1/s1600/Khloe-Kardashian-Love-Yourself-and-Be-Happy-Quotes-6-580x580.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: red;">THE ONLY LIMITS YOU SET YOURSELF</span></div>
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Links</h3>
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<a href="http://www.eonline.com/news/569059/30-things-i-wish-i-could-tell-my-younger-self" target="_blank">E! Online - 30 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/news/advice-to-my-younger-self/" target="_blank">Huffington Post - Advice to My Younger Self</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.ted.com/conversations/12365/what_advice_would_you_give_a_y.html" target="_blank">TED - What advice would you give a younger you?</a></div>
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What would you tell your younger self?</h3>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cyber-Monday/b/?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1416865398410&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&node=5550342011&tag=amazoncomau01-20&linkId=OL2NU4VEZZJFKQFB" target="_blank">Shop Amazon Cyber Monday Deals Week</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=amazoncomau01-20&l=pf4&o=1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-41668356476432254062014-11-29T14:38:00.003-08:002014-12-29T14:27:56.194-08:00CHALLENGE ACCEPTED #3<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKTICnc-02o1qfSHlV5pUiEfZZUE2K9UhCReRFAgKNya10XgmOyY_iGU8Ej-yuroPeg36Cx5HtiuLSg7LPETosbaLwRzTEwDtuhacQiACjDP5n2aVcVYq8vnrZOodP9OygKUWXv_3gVorl/s1600/217595_Love-holiday-valentine-romance-Wallpapers-Backgrounds_1600x1200_zps0fd53c22.jpg" height="246" width="640" /></a></div>
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I've decided to just add two months together to try to catch up. October is a rough month for me anyway because it is the month that my son passed away and was born, so it's a difficult month to get through which I'll go into more depth alter. November was busy because I dove head-first into getting my second book published, which I'll go into more about as well. So here we go, the third and fourth installment of "No Mean For A Year Challenge"! This was originally started in an attempt for self-respect, teaching me how to condition myself for greater things, and I must say it's WORKING!</div>
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<span style="color: #e06666;">OCTOBER</span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNAaCkiZfMooyIHP-E5v-e631IDZ4yq6m62BVGUZ9gO81YNAfRW1M7wYudi0sXCWwF_ekL1BrSBggqdAXI8gZBA1eRYwAWRWYhpzF2zMAy74VIjI3y95z1oNB8RQ4bA9wL7DGBomay_Qm/s1600/974415_10152406719732967_900369568_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoNAaCkiZfMooyIHP-E5v-e631IDZ4yq6m62BVGUZ9gO81YNAfRW1M7wYudi0sXCWwF_ekL1BrSBggqdAXI8gZBA1eRYwAWRWYhpzF2zMAy74VIjI3y95z1oNB8RQ4bA9wL7DGBomay_Qm/s1600/974415_10152406719732967_900369568_n.jpg" height="200" width="149" /></a><span style="color: #ea9999;">Originally October was going to be the month I took charge of a healthier me, it wasn't the right time to start this just yet; one thing at a time. October is especially difficult for me because my son was born October 28th, 2002 and he passed October 6th, 2013. It was his one year anniversary of gaining his angel wings. We did a lot of healing things to honor his memory, I have an entire Facebook page dedicated in his memory. We shared pictures of his precious time here on earth and I shared some great memories. Last year to honor his birthday (which was only days after his passing, so it was excruciating) we released balloons that we had written personal messages on with the hash-tag #HonorKaleb. Although, after reading about how dangerous this is for wildlife, we decided not to do that this year. His plaque was <i>finally</i> placed on his grave site, so my mother and I went and purchased big beautiful synthetic flowers and things to place in the vase. It was sad but it felt good also to finally get his site looking nice. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZZ4dnDUEE3kPPxXw6VAZwWirGDqA3IKh87Y3WidHqUYm7sLO9CSaSfsKBPaRjOmn_5ZZolmKWWbMtGwTYFSe5imfOFHOfuqiaz6hG-dSV1MQHL3c4xUfwysaxCUi-Ri38IAnjAwlk28Mo/s1600/10368965_338767059637246_1617851208963618777_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZZ4dnDUEE3kPPxXw6VAZwWirGDqA3IKh87Y3WidHqUYm7sLO9CSaSfsKBPaRjOmn_5ZZolmKWWbMtGwTYFSe5imfOFHOfuqiaz6hG-dSV1MQHL3c4xUfwysaxCUi-Ri38IAnjAwlk28Mo/s1600/10368965_338767059637246_1617851208963618777_o.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #f4cccc;">Needless to say, I didn't have much time for the month of October to even think about dating or the opposite sex; which is a good thing! And yes, I've slacked off <i>a lot</i> with journaling. I think every day was a lot to take-on. In retrospection, I think it's good to journal every day in the beginning to condition your brain and to get someone started in the right direction. It was really good for me to focus on <i>loving myself</i> - which honestly, I still have a hard time with - but, I'm learning. I've already learnt so much, I know I definitely deserve better than what I have put up with in the past. This time is all about me and what I need, no more sacrificing of myself for others, no more of the altruistic BS. In this attempt I sat down and considered goals to accomplish this year. These goals include a couple different blogging challenges (this one included) along with my publishing goals. Writing has becomes more than something I just <i>do</i>, now I consider myself a writer and if someone asks me what I do I replay "I'm a blogger and writer" which has helped me to get over some social anxieties as well. With these goals printed and posted so I had visual reminders to keep me on track, I dove head-first into the writing realm. I finished my first rough draft of my second book toward the end of October. </span></div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cyber-Monday/b/?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1416865398410&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&node=5550342011&tag=amazoncomau01-20&linkId=OL2NU4VEZZJFKQFB" target="_blank">Shop Amazon Cyber Monday Deals Week</a><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=amazoncomau01-20&l=pf4&o=1" height="1" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-40013028945309581362014-11-16T16:14:00.001-08:002014-11-16T16:14:19.598-08:00Delicious Quick & Easy Breakfast Bites<h2 style="text-align: center;">
Breakfast Bites</h2>
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Watching my two nieces in the mornings before school it can be a challenge to put breakfast on the table, especially if the morning is already rushed. Kids easy get bored with cereal options, and if you've been watching the Monsanto fiasco's, they're adding their ingredients into cereals without our knowledge. So what can we do to provide healthy alternatives? If you haven't heard about Monsanto and their crusade to include their ingredient in our foods, it's sickening. Let's just put it this way: Monsanto is the same company that created Agent Orange. My dad was exposed to this chemical during his service in the military, because of this he now receives benefits because of the long-term damage (including diabetes).</div>
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As most mother's and caregivers know, it can be quite a circus getting the kids out the door in the morning. So, in saving time I've prepared breakfast in advance and wanted to share. We have tried them out and they are <i>delicious</i>! This is a similar recipe that my family has used for many Christmas Morning Breakfasts (Breakfast Casserole). It's just modified to meet our needs and easier to prep and cook.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6Wep-mD0K1w-AGy14A8bFt000j1yBmKJaaXOTeMmFsvym8AsQeAFebEy_4TTMdoqe3W9jWTzgyP-VxJSafUr1UMquruEXL5zUpzF6cQi-kXTcw6euRTNuL4PIT1opXJRYS6rAkhGX1xy9/s1600/photo+5.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6Wep-mD0K1w-AGy14A8bFt000j1yBmKJaaXOTeMmFsvym8AsQeAFebEy_4TTMdoqe3W9jWTzgyP-VxJSafUr1UMquruEXL5zUpzF6cQi-kXTcw6euRTNuL4PIT1opXJRYS6rAkhGX1xy9/s1600/photo+5.JPG" height="145" width="200" /></a></div>
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What You'll Need:</h3>
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Muffin Baking Sheet - 12 count</div>
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(we used cupcake liners)</div>
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1 package (pound) sausage</div>
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12 eggs</div>
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1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese</div>
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1 cup chopped spinach</div>
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1/2 tsp salt</div>
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1/4 tsp pepper</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunMLtdF9X3h_nVytoRHKGiKwAaKtfU6rw2Ru4vqR6MaxdOvUmWP3hu99AMCG9k6lLTGV5GPUhpWLnBJ5auBdWejcM5AiEsqVNV5Q1Tgt30zTMhaRGrtQI6s2FlgQ7Ys1iH_8PJFvX2Bid/s1600/photo+1+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjunMLtdF9X3h_nVytoRHKGiKwAaKtfU6rw2Ru4vqR6MaxdOvUmWP3hu99AMCG9k6lLTGV5GPUhpWLnBJ5auBdWejcM5AiEsqVNV5Q1Tgt30zTMhaRGrtQI6s2FlgQ7Ys1iH_8PJFvX2Bid/s1600/photo+1+(4).JPG" height="160" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Prepped Muffin Baking Sheet w/Cupcake Liners</td></tr>
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First Step -</h3>
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Prep muffin sheet with inserting cupcake liners and spraying lightly with a baking spray. Brown sausage in a skillet. While the sausage is cooking crack the 12 eggs into a large mixing bowl, adding salt and pepper. We used bagged spinach, washed, dried, and then cut to preference and added to mixture.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmm8IGAibfC_6UpVtvDf3hfLyJQFGRj3oyelvLROOzLNFrygAHEuL5Xg4HA-dVy0r6Lz6GuKEfX-07VIcDN1azGuJohBeXye5tU4HpOd0M573Tlvy6f7f9eNgRAVr4DZuGnMBbH1VxlxQ/s1600/photo+2+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNmm8IGAibfC_6UpVtvDf3hfLyJQFGRj3oyelvLROOzLNFrygAHEuL5Xg4HA-dVy0r6Lz6GuKEfX-07VIcDN1azGuJohBeXye5tU4HpOd0M573Tlvy6f7f9eNgRAVr4DZuGnMBbH1VxlxQ/s1600/photo+2+(4).JPG" height="170" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Egg Mixture</td></tr>
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Once the sausage is browned and crumbled, mix into bowl along with the shredded cheese and mix well. Spoon mixture in about 1/3 full (the eggs will expand when cooked, don't overfill). Cook for 25-30 minutes, test with toothpick - if you insert toothpick and it comes out clean then they are finished. I cooked mine for a solid 30 minutes. After you take them out of the oven, you can use tongs to remove the Breakfast Bites to cool. Once they are cool you can store them in the fridge and then pop them out and heat them up in the morning through the week. This recipe yielded 24 Breakfast Bites. Enjoy!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyplJrKA07IOg_6zT9i3vXGUZuCFkwzJLxQ-AcvZCSv3546P41oC2JuawJWZJux1y7Q2wMSnsr8RXjehV90pLa-bb2OKaQUsM09we4R1TSfN7FAmBaD6nYwkxgr1rmft6GO7SROEdSBV_7/s1600/photo+3+(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyplJrKA07IOg_6zT9i3vXGUZuCFkwzJLxQ-AcvZCSv3546P41oC2JuawJWZJux1y7Q2wMSnsr8RXjehV90pLa-bb2OKaQUsM09we4R1TSfN7FAmBaD6nYwkxgr1rmft6GO7SROEdSBV_7/s1600/photo+3+(4).JPG" height="160" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Added Sausage, Spinach & Cheddar Cheese</td></tr>
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Links </h3>
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<a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/sausage-egg-muffins/" target="_blank">Allrecipes.com - Sausage Egg Muffins Recipe</a></div>
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<a href="http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Scrambled-Egg-Muffins-2/Detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Thumb&e11=sausage%20egg%20muffins&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e7=Recipe%20List&soid=sr_results_p1i2" target="_blank">Allrecipes.com - Scrambled Egg Muffins Recipe</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.seattleorganicrestaurants.com/vegan-whole-foods/breakfast-cereals-monsanto-gmo-corn/" target="_blank">Top Breakfast Cereals that Contains Monsanto's GMO</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-24121466645072604222014-10-16T18:25:00.000-07:002014-10-16T18:25:11.840-07:00BUILDING THE ARK<h2 style="text-align: center;">
The Problem with Church in the Bible vs. Church Today</h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtW9pIZ-fNMi8wiWPxxZiNaIL90cwWn-j2eIPEaM8tIbATlK-OAK1KisG_pWriiFn3qc48HbXcteLPm6uFKP76g-obUUXDIM3608URfQIZX2MfnnK-SCZILjMaNwFzEOj6yan9m02moliJ/s1600/cross.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtW9pIZ-fNMi8wiWPxxZiNaIL90cwWn-j2eIPEaM8tIbATlK-OAK1KisG_pWriiFn3qc48HbXcteLPm6uFKP76g-obUUXDIM3608URfQIZX2MfnnK-SCZILjMaNwFzEOj6yan9m02moliJ/s1600/cross.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
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This is the problem I have with what the Bible teaches us and what most church organizations practice. The Bible teaches us that the donations that are collected from the body of the church is suppose to be given to those less fortunate. Today, most churches turn around and use that as profit and put back into their own organizations. The main message of giving and tithing within the Bible teaches us to <i>give</i> so that we can <i>receive</i>. </div>
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<i>"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." </i>Luke 6:38 (<a href="http://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Luke-6-38/" target="_blank">KJV</a>)</div>
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I understand that the church needs money to stay functioning. To me, I would rather attend and be a member of a small church that gives a majority of their proceeds to widows and orphans than a huge over-blown organizational church with all their pomp and circumstance and jumbo trons, prerecorded sermons and bloated presence. I miss the days of that personal touch, when the pastor knew each and every member of his congregation. When I was younger, I remember the pastor of the church we had once attended would always check up on us if we had not been to church, just to make sure we were okay! Who does that anymore? Now it's automated e-mails with so much going on you are just another tally to mark for attendance and numbers. </div>
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Some interesting links to read is an article through the website <i>about religion</i> titled "<i>What Does The Bible Say About Church Giving?"</i> When I tried researching about what happens to the donations once they are given to a church, most of the articles were about the actual act of giving to the church. A huge issue I have within the operations of a church is if they ask your income. If they ask you this it is because they are expecting 10% as a donation to their church, once you are a member. They'll use the Bible to tell you that's what is expected and there is evidence in the Bible to instruct as such. But, it's just a suggestive. God tells us to give what we can, not to be dictated to about how much is required of us to give. One of my favorite passages within the Bible is the generosity of a poor woman who gives her last cent to the church she went to. Even though it was only a single cent, it was all that she had. Could you imagine a person of wealth giving all that they have to a church? This article also lists the reason why people today have issues with giving to church organizations. </div>
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Another interesting read is <i>Let Us Reason Ministry</i> with their articled titled <i>"The Origin of Tithing"</i>. I personally love reading these more to the point articles because it researches the beginning, it goes to (as so titled) origin and gives us the history behind the reasoning. This articles takes us through the course of giving along with the different passages from the Bible associated with tithing and the specifications of today. If you are questioning yourself about giving to your church, read both of the articles (I'll list them both below) and write out a devotional and see how He opens your heart and blesses you with understanding. Make sure to share with us your opinions on giving, tithing and those practices in today's church.</div>
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Associated Links</h3>
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<a href="http://christianity.about.com/od/whatdoesthebiblesay/i/churchgiving.htm" target="_blank">"What Does the Bible Say About Church Giving?" <i>about religion </i>(Mary Fairchild, 2014)</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.letusreason.org/doct54.htm" target="_blank">"The Origin of Tithing" <i>Let Us Reason Ministry</i> (2009)</a></div>
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Random Acts of Kindness</h2>
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When I first started putting this post together, I looked into the <i><a href="http://adoptaussoldier.org/" target="_blank">Adopt a Soldier</a></i> program. I actually did sign-up and conversed a couple times through e-mails with my soldier. He was married and had two young children, one was just a baby. It's so altruistic of the soldiers who commit their lives and it reminds me of another person who sacrificed his own life so that the rest of us could continue to live. Yes, I get it - people are against war. Yet, war has been around for far too long and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. So, for those brave men and women who sign-up and sacrifice their lives for our perceived freedom and for their belief in doing something good, the <i>least</i> I could do was to sign-up to say "Thank You" and send them a little goody box. I don't have much money but, I sent them what I could. Even if I never hear back from them, I know in my heart that I did something good. Years ago, a friend's sister was deployed and at the time I did have more money so I put together a box full of Bath & Body Works items and they <i>loved</i> the "thank you." But, it's these random acts of kindness that go a long way and not only brings joy to those who receive the gifts, it also brings joy into your own life. For more great ARK ideas, check out the links below!</div>
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Associated Links</h3>
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<a href="http://www.adoptaussoldier.org/index.php/site/adopt" target="_blank">Sign-up to Adopt a Soldier link</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/101-easy-ideas-for-random-acts-of-kindness#4fzh9wu" target="_blank">"101 Easy Ideas For Random Acts Of Kindness" Buzzfeed (Jessica Misener, 2014)</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas" target="_blank">Random Acts of Kindness Organization - Kindness Ideas</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5370946878347945238.post-88905567657975025832014-10-10T20:06:00.001-07:002014-10-10T20:06:53.926-07:00DOUBLE STANDARDS BS<h2 style="text-align: center;">
"Fat" Person Social Experiments</h2>
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If you don't agree that it is more socially acceptable for a male to be overweight than a female, watch these two video's posted by <i><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFns-k9UgOhVRnKHdynzU2A" target="_blank">Simple Pickup</a></i> and then share your opinions. "Fat Girl Tinder Date" received over 11,967,762 views against "Fat Guy Tinder Date" receiving only 6,940,949 views. The social experiment takes an socially acceptable (thin and beautiful or handsome) individual and post pictures of themselves on a dating site called <i><a href="http://www.tinder.com/" target="_blank">Tinder</a></i>. Then, when they meet their dates they look quite different from their pictures. The actors put on fat suits and go on these dates and the different reactions are interesting. Some are just down right mean though. As a person that has battled weight all my life, I found the video's very hurtful. I've never lied to men but, I can testify the different treatment.</div>
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Societal Double Standards</h2>
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I get really frustrated with how many movies, television shows, and everything else in our society where it is socially acceptable that a large (overweight) male can be with a thinner or healthy woman - but, when do we see an overweight female with an healthy or thinner male in societies eyes as acceptable? Just like these two video's - women are much nicer to men than men are to women in reference to their weight. I get it, there are some other levels that the men could have been disgusted with (because they were deceived). All but one male left the overweight woman. Where all the women stayed for their date with the overweight male. By nature statistics show that women are more empathetic and nurturing and I'm sure this is proven here as well. However, watching the first video really gives me no hope for humanity.</div>
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Watching some other YouTubers videos and podcasts referencing weight, when they talk about themselves being "fat" it's not as derogatory and as negative as when they are stating to weight with women. Why is it such a crime to be overweight as a woman - but, men can be overweight without all the social flogging?</div>
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I recently listened to one podcast last week where they were talking about how much women are crucified for their looks and now this week they make stupid jokes about women and their weight. I don't like to leave negative comments or else I would have told one of the podcasters to look in the mirror. But, whatever. It's one of those things like many other prejudices, until society changes ... but, can society change?</div>
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Closing Comment</h2>
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This isn't the first social experiment, I've seen other examples of models and famous people putting on the fat suit and they are always astounded by the mistreatment they've received. So, this isn't anything new by far. However these boys that have created this YouTube channel and titled it Simple Pickup is more of a channel about their attempts at hooking up with women with no respect given to the opposite sex. You would almost hope that they are attempting practical jokes but, no - they are really showing us how crazy the dating scene is. That's not true, the only respect they have are for their dicks and the apparent STD's they are attempting to contract. There are some great videos that you should show your daughters as a horrific warning of what to avoid and to not engage in their attempt at social behaviors. It's also very disturbing to see how this generation conducts themselves - total disgust. They can keep their herpes. I'll stay fat and happy - far far away from them!! :)</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10648321221121300213noreply@blogger.com1