Saturday, August 8, 2015


July - "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"

In July there was a death in the family. Death always makes us look at the mortality of life. Life really is too short. This month I also focused on counting my blessings instead of obsessing over what isn't "right" in my life. Who says it's not "right"? I've really worked on detoxing myself with societal standards. Yeah, I might not look like the girls in magazines or the women on television, but I'm NOT them and I have been through REAL trauma and hell (a couple times) in my life. The scars I do have I wear as a proud reminder that life tried to knock me down (repeatedly) but, I didn't let it keep me down. I'm a survivor. It's taken me a long time to accept that I'm not perfect - but, who the hell is - NO ONE! Jesus is the only person that has been the standard for perfection - and he died so that we can live. What does that tell you - It tells me not to waste anymore of my time with fear or any of that silly business and just have fun. Speaking of fear, I read a devotional recently where it talked about how there are 365 passages in the Bible where God specifically tells us not to be fearful, and that's a daily reminder for an entire year - do not fear, He is with you.

Not that I'm going to go out, kick my heels up, and cause drama. Quite the opposite, I try to stay far-far away from drama. I know I deserve someone who will treat me right, cherish what I do have to offer, and want to grow old together. My delusional thoughts like to keep me knocked down by telling myself that I'm fat, and therefore I am ugly; that I am nothing, and that I have nothing to offer. Lies. When doing devotionals I've read repeatedly how "the devil" likes to tell us these lies because it can keep us from furthering our relationship with God. However, sometimes we have to travel those troubled waters to draw closer to Him - and that's what he wants, He wants US. So, I started doing devotionals learning about God's love, and defining love itself. When I listened to songs, instead of telling myself "that would be nice, if a man thought that way about me" or something along those lines - so I had to recondition my brain, instead of wishing for a silly relationship with an earthly man, I would listen to the song and think about God's love; unconditional and unyielding - much more meaningful than any sort of mortal, flesh ridden love. Next time you are feeling unloved, find your favorite love song, and instead of dwelling on those lost loves, or the love that you long for in the song, think of God's love instead and tell me that you aren't immediately filled with the Spirit.